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Understand, remove barriers, move forward

Posted: May 7, 2024 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

“Seek first to understand” – Stephen Covey

The above quote is from the late self-help author and trainer Stephen Covey.  This vital piece of the Golden Rule can serve us royally:

Two days ago I experienced a touching example of this powerful principle.  My wife and I were visiting our son and grandson.  Little 3-year old Levi was not having a good day.  He was cranky, defiant, and exhibiting unpleasant behavior.   Normally, he is cheerful and happy.  That night my son went through his normal routine of reading Levi a story and putting him to bed.  At around 3am, my son was awakened by Levi.  He was standing right next to David.  For the first time, Levi had crawled out of his crib.  A whole new era began!

The next morning Levi and his Dad worked together to convert his crib into a bed.  Then Levi asked his Dad, “Does this mean I can’t be your son anymore?”  WOW!  That is a show stopper.  Now we could see why his behavior was so conflicted.  He knew he needed to give up his crib, but he didn’t want to give up his Dad with it.  A warm, quality conversation followed, and Levi, his attitude, and behavior were back on track.

As I reflected on this story, I realized that, even though we are not 3 years old, we can relate to Levi.  When we know we need to move forward and undergo change, it can create an inner conflict.  If the source of this conflict is not discovered, hurt and misunderstanding can occur.  Seek first to understand.  When we do, barriers are removed, trust is strengthened, and we move forward!