“Insincerity is shallow and selfish. It ought to fail and it usually does”
– Dale Carnegie
I remember reading the above quote over 40 years ago and it remains embedded in my mind. Insincerity is like counterfeit money: Eventually you will get busted.
Have you known someone who always starts a conversation asking questions about you and your family? You probably have. We enjoy it when others show a genuine interest in us and remember what we have told them. That is the operative word…GENUINE. Here is what I mean:
Last week a friend of mine received a call from someone she had not spoken with for many months. The conversation started off well, and the friend asked about grandkids. Jill answered by saying that she babysat for her grandkids on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, and also Sunday afternoons. Jill’s friend replied, “Oh how nice!”, and then moved on to other topics. About 10 minutes into the conversation the friend asked, “So do you get a chance to see your grandkids often?” Jill was stunned. She had already answered that question earlier and it was apparent her friend had not been listening. Good listening builds trust. Lousy listening erodes it.
If you have found yourself making the same mistake that Jill’s friend did, it doesn’t mean you are an insincere person. I must confess I can think of times when I let myself get distracted and made a similar error. When I did, I felt like a “penny waiting for change”. and I apologized for my failure to listen.
The lesson is this: When we ask questions to find out how others are doing, we LISTEN. It builds trust and gives us a perfect conversation starter for the next time. Others will appreciate our genuine and sincere interest in them.
