Making it a “win-win” conflict

Posted: December 11, 2023 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Self-Improvement

“To Thomas Jefferson, the argument interrupted the song.  To John Adams, is was the song”

Several years ago I worked with a company that produced special parts for the U.S. military aviation industry.  The workers in this shop were good at their job, and were also critical thinkers.  One day I was talking with Vernon, the owner, about his team.  He talked about Larry, an employee he liked very much.  He liked Larry because he was a nice guy who always got along and did his best to keep peace and harmony.  Larry was a “people-pleaser” and a peace keeper,  Vernon said, “I wish everyone was like Larry”, and I replied, “No, you don’t”.  You see, people who are peace keepers often avoid confrontation.  Sometimes, confrontation is just what we need to do to preserve peace and prevent resentment.

Here is an example:  A couple weeks ago my wife and I went to a local steakhouse.  We both ordered the same thing, and we were served quickly.  Even though the steaks didn’t look like the picture on the menu, we shrugged our shoulders and dug in anyway.  As we were eating the steak, I asked my wife if she thought they could have given us something different than we ordered.  Joyce asked the server, and we found out we had been served a larger and more expensive steak than we ordered.  Each steak was twice the price of what we expected.  We brought it to the attention of the server.  She said she could give us 10% off, and that was all she was authorized to do.  She said if that wasn’t acceptable, we could talk to the manager.  Being the peace keeper, I didn’t want to elevate the situation, but Joyce did.  Politely and tactfully, Joyce said she would like to talk to the manager.  They had a good dialogue, and the manager gave us an adjustment that was more than fair.   We were happy.  Mistakes happen.  We liked our server and we like the restaurant.  We will be back.  If we had not confronted the manager, we would have probably not returned.  This is an example of when confrontation is good.  Joyce created a “win-win”.

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