As an executive coach, I help companies and organizations to further improve teamwork and overall performance. As we know, good communication is at the heart of a winning team. One of the toughest parts can be getting our message out in a conflict situation. So often, we just end up talking past each other, and not solving the problem. A few weeks ago I came across this situation with one of my clients:
Jane is a team leader. One day her boss came in with a bad mood. He began talking to Jane’s team members in a harsh way. Even though the boss was pointing out important things, the way he said it was not well received.
In the past such an incident would have caused Jane much stress and frustration. Jane had been working on her communication skills, and this time she decided to confront her boss at a time when they could have a private conversation. Here is how she approached her boss:
She began in a friendly way, and asked her boss how he thought it went the day before.
She listened, and he talked for a few minutes recounting the scene, and making comments along the way. When he was through talking, Jane affirmed what she heard, and asked him a follow up question.
It wasn’t long before the problem was solved. The boss admitted he was out of line, and pledged to improve his “re-direction” in a more nurturing way. He did just that. He was happy, Jane was feeling less stressed, and all the team enjoyed their improved working environment.
Here is what Jane learned: If someone does something that we believe is a threat to teamwork, find a time to talk to them one-on-one. Begin in a friendly way. Gently ask questions. Listen and find common ground. You will have a more positive and engaged team.
