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Focus on the problem…not the personality
In the mid-50’s, Robert Johnson was looking for financing for what would become Ebony Magazine. As he went from bank to bank asking for a loan, he ran into one dead end after another. Then came the moment of truth: A bank loan officer told him that they did not loan money to people of his color. Rather than bristle or get defensive, he simply asked, “Who do you know that would be receptive?”. The fellow liked his approach, and even though he didn’t give him a loan, he recommended someone Mr. Johnson could talk to. Mr Johnson followed through, got the loan, and the rest is history.
Robert Johnson had a marvelously ability to remain calm and focus on the problem, not the personality. He needed a loan to start his business, and that is what he focused on. He did not allow himself to get distracted by emotions.
When leaders can have this type of discipline, more problems get solved, and teams collaborate to be more productive.
About ten years ago, I was coaching someone who worked for a construction company. There was an accountant she had to report to, and she did not like him. After each encounter, she would talk about how he made her feel small and humiliated. I asked her why she was talking to him. She explained that they needed to coordinate on projects, and communication was important. I then asked her what was going on in her mind as she was entering this fellow’s office. Her answer did not surprise me: She would think about what a jerk he was. As David J. Schwartz says in his book “Magic of Thinking Big”, we need to “think right about people”. Attitudes leak.
From that point on, Carol (not her real name) would approach the accountant clearly thinking of the purpose of the meeting. What did she need from him? What did he need from her? From that point on, her situation changed, and it was also a turning point in the improvement of the entire company culture. In turnarounds there are turning points, and this was one of them.
When we can discipline ourselves to suspend judgment and focus on the problem rather than the personality, we can grow in our leadership ability, and be more effective at getting things done.