Filtering: Something every good listener knows and practices

Posted: September 3, 2015 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement

Listening builds trust.  When I work with someone to become a stronger leader, we almost always start with the fundamentals and practice of being a better listener.

One of the biggest barriers to being a good listener is filtering:  Here is what I mean:  We all come from different places, backgrounds, and ethnic groups.  We also have a lifetime of experiences that have led us to form our own opinions and perceptions.  When we are talking to someone for the purpose of understanding them better, we have to learn to turn the “filter” switch off.  Here is an example:

In the 70″s there was a football player who was well liked and respected by his team.  He was talented, he worked hard, and he helped lead his team to victory.  As a result of his efforts, a national press association chose to give him their annual award for teamwork.  He refused to accept the award, saying, “I can’t accept this award unless the same award is given to every member of the team.  We were all in it together.”  The press association agreed to his terms, and presented each member of the team with the award.  Now that’s leadership!  Wait a minute…I forgot to tell you who it was.  His jersey number was #32, he was a running back for the Buffalo Bills, and you have probably guessed it by now…his name was O.J. Simpson.

Before 1994 when O.J. Simpson fell from grace, I used this example to illustrate great teamwork.  I still think it is a great example, but I don’t use it.  I am concerned that, given who the person involved, some in the class may de-value the example, and it won’t have the intended impact.

Let’s be real.  We all have filters and we filter constantly.  My challenge to you is to “take the batteries out of your filters” when you need to truly listen and understand the person you are talking with.  No.  It’s not easy.

 

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