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Category: Team Building
13 rules for living
This week we received the sad news that General Colin Powell died at age 84. He was a world-renowned statesman, diplomat, Secretary of State, and four-star General.
The son of Jamaican Immigrants, he was born in Harlem, New York in 1937. He was raised in the South in tough times, General Powell reached his success through hard work, strong ethics, and love of his country. In 1995 he wrote his book, “My American Journey”. Contained in this book were his 13 “Rules for living”. Of all the attachments I send to my clients and friends, these rules are at the “top of the Hit Parade”. Here they are:
- It ain’t as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.
- Get mad, then get over it.
- Avoid having your ego so close to your position that, when your position falls, your ego goes with it.
- It can be done!
- Be careful what you choose. You may get it.
- Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
- You can’t make someone else’s choices.
- Check small things.
- Share credit.
- Remain calm. Be kind.
- Have a vision. Be demanding.
- Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers.
- Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.
I have found these rules to be helpful when I am dealing with situations, problems, crises, and making decisions. They may do the same for you!
Making courage contagious
Have you ever been to a meeting and afterwards heard someone say, “I was going to say something.” Too bad. What if there comment or suggestion that could have increased the profitability of the company, or even saved it from bankruptcy? Idea fluency is vital in a fully-functioning organization. How do we create an atmosphere that encourages even the most reserved to speak up? Here is an example that demonstrates how:
I have a client who sells heavy duty manufacturing equipment. Last week he went to visit a customer, and he gave two different presentations. The first was to the top management team. As you would guess, meetings are a regular thing for them. Each participant had their questions, and they had a hearty product discussion with Carl (My client).
For the next meeting, Carl addressed a group who worked in manufacturing. These people are the ones who operate the machines. This group rarely attends sales presentations and they were reluctant to speak up and ask questions. Carl could sense their reluctance. The seating was in a horseshoe formation, and Carl walked inside the horseshoe to make a more intimate interaction. While respecting personal space, he asked a question to one of the more shy people. At first the participant was nervous, but he soon overcame his fear and started to ask questions and give input. That opened up the floodgates. One by one, others began giving their comments, and Carl could feel the temperature of the group rise. It was a lively discussion. Carl had strengthened trust with the group and received valuable input that proved very helpful in writing his proposal. Carl valued and respected everyone’s input, and he got it. Remember to EN-COURAGE others to build a more collaborative team by creating an environment that opens them up.
If you want to persuade…remember this
Humility: Having a showing or consciousness of ones defects or shortcomings.– Webster’s New World Dictionary
In his book, “The Ideal Team Player”, Patrick Lencioni talks about the most important quality of the strongest team players: Humility.
Are you a “just” person? Let me explain what I mean by that. A couple weeks ago I was talking with my youngest son. He is 33 and had been married for 3 years. I had asked David a challenging question, and he did not become defensive. I could tell he had thought carefully about my question, and he did not comment. Later on, David shared this: “When you asked me that question I was so tempted to say, “I just…” I held back and I am glad I did rather than reacting or becoming defensive. I thought your question was good and I should give it careful consideration. I did so, and it helped me. I also realized the number of times people would say something starting with, “I just…”. Now whenever I am tempted to respond with “I just”, I take a step back and gave myself some time to think.”
David’s comments caused me to reflect on the number of “I just” moments I have had. I don’t use “I just” anymore and I don’t miss it. Not doing so has helped me become a more empathetic and improved listener. Try it! I believe you will find others will be more open to your ideas.
Yes, we can make a difference
When I was in high school I took a speech class. The teacher made a statement I never forgot: “When we speak up with conviction, we can create a defining moment that shapes our lives, shapes our relationships, and shapes the world.” In other words, we change history! Here is a true story taken from the book, “Crucial Conversations” to demonstrate:
“Kevin, his peers, and their boss were deciding on a new location for their offices – would they move across town, across the state, or across the country? The first two execs presented their arguments for their top choices, and as expected, their points were greeted by penetrating questions from the full team. No vague claim went unclarified, no unsupported reasoning unquestioned.
Then Chris, the CEO, pitched his preference – one that was both unpopular and potentially disastrous. However when people tried to disagree or push back on Chris, he responded poorly. Since he was the big boss he didn’t exactly have to browbeat people to get what he wanted. Instead, he became slightly defensive. First he raised his voice – just a little. It wasn’t long until people stopped questioning him, and Chris’s inadequate proposal was quietly accepted. Well, almost. That is when Kevin spoke up. His words were simple enough – like, ‘Hey Chris, can I check something out with you?’
The reaction was stunning – everyone in the room stopped breathing. But Kevin ignored the apparent terror of his colleagues and plunged ahead. In the next few minutes he in essence told the CEO that he appeared to be violating his own deision-making guidelines. He was subtly using his power to move the new offices to his hometown. After some additional discussion, the boss said, ‘You’re absolutely right,'”
Think of all the positive effects Chris’s speaking up spawned. Families didn’t have to move, kids stayed in their schools, and the company morale was preserved. Remember the “power of one”. Act…or be acted upon!
The secret good motivators know…
“Change of heart can’t be imposed…It can only be chosen”
–Dr. William Miller
Have you ever found yourself giving the same lecture over and over to your kids, relatives, or people who report to you? We can preach, threaten, or even penalize, but what can we do to inspire a change of heart?
A few months ago I called my stove repairman to fix a minor problem. I reached his voicemail, and in the message he mentioned that they would not enter my house unless I was wearing a mask. What nerve, I thought! He is telling me what to do in my own house. I abruptly deleted the contact from my file.
Fast forward to last month: I needed my carpets to be cleaned for the holidays, and I set up an appointment. The personnel were friendly, responsive, and right on time. The enthusiastic service tech came to the front door, and when I greeted him, I was wearing a mask in my own house! Why? Because I had a choice, and I chose to wear it. I thought about the service tech and wondered if he had a family. What if his wife was pregnant? I found myself empathizing rather than just thinking about my position. The tech did a fine job, and even threw in an extra room for free. Now that’s a win-win.
This experience reminded me of an important quality that loved and respected leaders have: The ability to listen, ask questions, and let others choose whenever possible. Even though there are times we must follow other’s directives without much choice, when we can offer someone a choice and let it be their decision, we can inspire that change of heart.