Posted: November 16, 2021 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

When I decided to become a professional coach, I began a long training process that included numerous practicums I was either directly involved in or part of the audience. These practicums were in the form of role-playing, and I remember one time the person in the coaching role became a little “edgy” when working with his sample client. I thought the coach was going to be criticized for his edginess. Instead, he was praised. What? Here’s why: Good teachers, coaches, and parents know how to pull out the best in people. When your pupil is not giving his or her best, you are probably going to be frustrated or disappointed, and it shows up in your voice. I am not referring to a “nasty” tone. I mean “edgy”. There is a big difference. Here is an example:

A couple weeks ago I was in my garage, and noticed the lawn tractor lights had been left on. As a result, the battery was dead. My wife had been the last one to use the tractor, and I brought the situation to her attention. In he response, I could tell she was irritated. Later that day, I mentioned she had sounded edgy, and asked why. She said she did not like the way I approached her. I asked her what would have been a better approach. She told me. Problem solved.

When those we interact with appear tense, we can gently and tactfully ask them what is bothering them. Sometimes it is us, but other times it is not. They may have had a big argument with their kids or spouse that morning. We don’t know. We ask. If we are the source, we can make the adjustment. If we don’t, resentment can set it in, and teamwork and communication suffer.

Here is the message: If we are not happy with something, don’t be afraid to let it show a little in our voice. If we sense someone else is a little tense, find out why. We will strengthen teamwork and communication.

Posted: October 29, 2021 | Categories: Leadership, Team Building

Part of my coaching involves helping companies build collaborative teams.  This process requires working with highly responsible people who know how to confront problems directly with no excuses or blame.  We respect these qualities.

On the other hand, have you ever worked with someone who rarely admitted a mistake?  Such folks aren’t gaining respect…they are sacrificing it.  Here is an example I’ll never forget:

One afternoon about 30 years ago I was playing baseball with my then 5-year old son in our back yard.  Kevin was practicing hitting, and I made a comment that seems to stun him.  His face looked puzzled, and he said, “Dad, was that a put down?”  I started to respond by rationalizing and being defensive.  Then I stopped mid-sentence and said, “You’re right, Kevin.  That was a put-down, and I was wrong to say that.  I am sorry.”  Kevin’s reaction was very calm.  He said, “OK”.  This was a teachable moment for me.  I learned that people who like and trust us don’t expect us to be perfect.  When we make a mistake and don’t own up to it, we can confuse people.  When we admit our mistakes and apologize,, we strengthen trust and respect, and most important, the relationships.  It has been estimated that nearly 50% of all business failures can be attributed to mistakes that are made but not admitted.  Here’s the message:  When we make a mistake, own up to it.  We will gain respect and help open the door to stronger team collaboration.

Posted: October 20, 2021 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

This week we received the sad news that General Colin Powell died at age 84.  He was a world-renowned statesman, diplomat, Secretary of State, and four-star General.

The son of Jamaican Immigrants, he was born in Harlem, New York in 1937.  He was raised in the South in tough times, General Powell reached his success through hard work, strong ethics, and love of his country.  In 1995 he wrote his book, “My American Journey”.  Contained in this book were his 13 “Rules for living”.  Of all the attachments I send to my clients and friends, these rules are at the “top of the Hit Parade”.  Here they are:

1. It ain’t as bad as you think.  It will look better in the morning.
2. Get mad, then get over it.
3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that, when your position falls, your ego goes with it.
4. It can be done!
5. Be careful what you choose.  You may get it.
6. Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
7. You can’t make someone else’s choices.
8.  Check small things.
9. Share credit.
10. Remain calm.  Be kind.
11. Have a vision.  Be demanding.
12. Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers.
13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

I have found these rules to be helpful when I am dealing with situations, problems, crises, and making decisions.  They may do the same for you!

Posted: August 31, 2021 | Categories: Leadership, Presentation skills, Sales, Team Building

Have you ever been to a meeting and afterwards heard someone say, “I was going to say something.” Too bad. What if there comment or suggestion that could have increased the profitability of the company, or even saved it from bankruptcy? Idea fluency is vital in a fully-functioning organization. How do we create an atmosphere that encourages even the most reserved to speak up? Here is an example that demonstrates how:

I have a client who sells heavy duty manufacturing equipment. Last week he went to visit a customer, and he gave two different presentations. The first was to the top management team. As you would guess, meetings are a regular thing for them. Each participant had their questions, and they had a hearty product discussion with Carl (My client).

For the next meeting, Carl addressed a group who worked in manufacturing. These people are the ones who operate the machines. This group rarely attends sales presentations and they were reluctant to speak up and ask questions. Carl could sense their reluctance. The seating was in a horseshoe formation, and Carl walked inside the horseshoe to make a more intimate interaction. While respecting personal space, he asked a question to one of the more shy people. At first the participant was nervous, but he soon overcame his fear and started to ask questions and give input. That opened up the floodgates. One by one, others began giving their comments, and Carl could feel the temperature of the group rise.  It was a lively discussion. Carl had strengthened trust with the group and received valuable input that proved very helpful in writing his proposal.  Carl valued and respected everyone’s input, and he got it. Remember to EN-COURAGE others to build a more collaborative team by creating an environment that opens them up.

Posted: February 22, 2021 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

Humility: Having a showing or consciousness of ones defects or shortcomings.– Webster’s New World Dictionary

In his book, “The Ideal Team Player”, Patrick Lencioni talks about the most important quality of the strongest team players:  Humility.

Are you a “just” person? Let me explain what I mean by that. A couple weeks ago I was talking with my youngest son. He is 33 and had been married for 3 years. I had asked David a challenging question, and he did not become defensive. I could tell he had thought carefully about my question, and he did not comment. Later on, David shared this: “When you asked me that question I was so tempted to say, “I just…” I held back and I am glad I did rather than reacting or becoming defensive.  I thought your question was good and I should give it careful consideration. I did so, and it helped me. I also realized the number of times people would say something starting with, “I just…”. Now whenever I am tempted to respond with “I just”, I take a step back and gave myself some time to think.”

David’s comments caused me to reflect on the number of “I just” moments I have had. I don’t use “I just” anymore and I don’t miss it. Not doing so has helped me become a more empathetic and improved listener. Try it! I believe you will find others will be more open to your ideas.