Posted: November 8, 2022 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Presentation skills, Team Building

A couple weeks ago a client requested that I write a blog on “tone of voice”.  I liked the idea.  How many relationships or business deals suffer because of our tone of voice?  Our tone can convey joy, frustration, impatience, condescension, and sometimes hostility.  With all that said, how do we maintain better control over the tenor of what we say?  It may start with the quality of our thinking.  Here’s an example:

Last summer I went to start our tractor mower, and discovered the lightshad be left on and the battery was dead.  I immediately realized what happened.  My wife was the last one to mow the lawn,  and when she turned the mower off, she left the lights on.  I decided to stop and tell Joyce what had happened.  When I told her I would tell she was a little hurt.  I quickly figured out that she resented my tone.  She thought I sounded condescending.  She was right.  That’s because as I spoke I was thinking it was a pretty dumb thing to do.  That is what I was thinking, and my attitude leaked into my tone of voice.  It almost always does for all of us, and when this happens, it affects how our message comes across.

As I thought about what I had just said and how I said it, I took a step back and did some reflecting.  I realized that I had not properly instructed Joyce on how to turn off the mower.  I apologized and got myself back on track.

In his book, “The Magic of Thinking Big”, David J. Schwartz talks about “Thinking right about people”.  When we are thinkng right about others, we can improve our tone, and also our communication effectivenes.

Posted: September 15, 2022 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

In my post on September 13th, I talked about how we can prevent gossip by speaking up and confronting situations directly.  But wait a minute…What if we try to speak up and it ends up in a vicious argument?  We don’t want that.

To create and facilitate a quality conversation that solves problems, builds trust and prevents resentment, here are some points to keep in mind:

1. What is your trust level with this person?  If we don’t like or respect them, we can bet our attitude about them will leak.  (Attitudes almost always do)
2. Begin in a friendly way.  Assuming we do have adequate trust established, we should begin in a friendly manner.  In other words, don’t start out saying, “I have a bone to pick with you!”
3. Relate the fact.  Without judgment, relate the fact of what the other person did or didn’t do.  Then gently describe the effects this action had on you and your ability to do your job.
4. Ask them for a solution.  Instead of dictating, give the other person a chance to take ownership.  Ask them for ideas.  Listen, ask questions, and respond.
5. Come to a consensus.  Decide on solution and make sure you both agree.
6. Reassure.  Give reassurance that you are good with the solution and the problem is solved.  Agree to put the situation behind you, and move forward!

No matter how hard we try, we are going to do things that create a burden for someone else.  When we do, imagine how much smoother things will go if we approach in the way outlined above.

Posted: September 13, 2022 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Team Building

Yes,  you read it right!  I said “eliminate”.

A few years ago I was working with a manufacturing team that wanted to be more productive.  The first step was to have each participant do a self-assessment to help identify their personality and communication style.  One of the team members was classified in the “Mediator” category.  People in this group tend to be strong on harmony.  “Let’s get along” is their motto.  Richard, the business owner commented that he wished he had a whole team of “mediators”.  “No, you don’t”, I replied.  Why?

A Mediator wants to see everyone work together and get along.  What’s the “flipside”?  Mediators are usually very uncomfortable with conflict.  There are times when we feel betrayed or simply disagree.  If we don’t speak up, we can become frustrated and internalize our feelings.  Unfortunately, doing this usually leads to us talking to someone else about our concern rather the person we should be talking to.  This often leads to gossip, and gossip is not good for teamwork.

We all know the signs:  When lunch break comes, certain clusters go off to another room.  You know when your name is discussed because everyone gets quiet when you approach.

What do we do?  Break the pattern.  If someone has done or said something that has made it more difficult for you to do your job, speak up!  Approach the person in a friendly way.  Focus on the problem not the personality.  Refrain from being judgmental.  Relate the incident and how it affects your work.  Seek common ground.  In doing so, you will take an action step in creating a more positive working environment.

Posted: August 17, 2022 | Categories: Leadership, Team Building

As an executive coach, I help companies and organizations to further improve teamwork and overall performance.  As we know, good communication is at the heart of a winning team.  One of the toughest parts can be getting our message out in a conflict situation.  So often, we just end up talking past each other, and not solving the problem.  A few weeks ago I came across this situation with one of my clients:

Jane is a team leader.  One day her boss came in with a bad mood.  He began talking to Jane’s team members in a harsh way.  Even though the boss was pointing out important things, the way he said it was not well received.

In the past such an incident would have caused Jane much stress and frustration.  Jane had been working on her communication skills, and this time she decided to confront her boss at a time when they could have a private conversation. Here is how she approached her boss:

• She began in a friendly way, and asked her boss how he thought it went the day before.
• She listened, and he talked for a few minutes recounting the scene, and making comments along the way. When he was through talking, Jane affirmed what she heard, and asked him a follow up question.

It wasn’t long before the problem was solved.  The boss admitted he was out of line, and pledged to improve his “re-direction” in a more nurturing way.  He did just that.  He was happy, Jane was feeling less stressed, and all the team enjoyed their improved working environment.

Here is what Jane learned:  If someone does something that we believe is a threat to teamwork, find a time to talk to them one-on-one.  Begin in a friendly way.  Gently ask questions. Listen and find common ground.  You will have a more positive and engaged team.

Posted: July 20, 2022 | Categories: Leadership, Management, Team Building

Have you ever seen a situation where a company hires a new team member, things go well for a couple weeks, and then the new hire suddenly quits?  What happened?  You thought they were happy and doing fine.

Well, you may want to look at your onboarding process.  Studies have shown that for the first six weeks of employment we need to be intentional in making sure that we work with the new person in building trust and helping them keep engaged in their work.  This can make a big difference.

In 1977 I joined a local Rotary Club.  I wanted to be more involved in the community and enjoy some good fellowship.  At 28, I was the youngest person in that club.

As soon as I was inducted, I was paired with a mentor.  His name was Art, and he was genuinely interested in me and what skills I brought to the table.  We set up weekly conversations, and I was soon given the job of bulletin editor.  Art knew I liked to write, and he tapped in to a hot button.  After six weeks my mentoring ended, and the program had succeeded.  I was an active member of the club and felt very much at home – even though I was the youngest member of the club – by far!  I was a member for 10 years before I moved away, and during that time served in every office…including president!

One of the most persistent challenges my clients encounter today is hiring and keeping good employees.  To reduce this threat, I recommend you have a step-by-step onboarding process guided by a competent mentor who will manage the process.  Keem’em smiling!