Posted: March 17, 2022 | Categories: Self-Improvement, Team Building

About 20 years ago I was brought on as a consultant by the president of a moderate-sized manufacturing business. His name was Roger, and he wanted me to help him with his retirement plans. Before Roger set his exact retirement date he wanted to be sure that his son and the rest of his team could implement a smooth transition.

I asked Roger what he wanted help with. He replied, “I take a few weeks off every year to stay at my cabin up north. When I return to work, everything is in a crisis mode. As I am scrambling to get things back in control again, I begin to question the benefit of ever going away again. What I want is to come back to my plant with confidence that all will be in order. I want my return to be a pleasant experience that I look forward to.”

With that picture clearly in mind we got to work on building into the team all the skills and discipline needed to make the self-reliant team Roger was looking for. As you might guess, these areas included skills in emotional intelligence and clear communication wrapped in a blanket of trust and accountability.

About three years after we began, Roger and I were talking about the effectiveness of the training. He had just come back after a several week stay at his cabin and returned to a working environment that was relaxed and in control. No one came to Roger with a crisis. I was happy to hear this, but then I noticed Roger’s facial expression. He looked a little down. I asked him if something was wrong.

He said, “I know this is what I wanted, but I don’t feel as much a part of the group, and I am not as important.” We all love to feel important, don’t we? Roger lost some of that. I asked, “So even though this is what you wanted, you are going through a “grieving process?”

“Yes!” he said,  “You hit the nail the head!”

What Roger and I both learned: If you want something that involves a change, consider what you are leaving behind, and let your mind prepare.

Posted: March 9, 2022 | Categories: Leadership, Sales, Self-Improvement, Team Building

This past Sunday we attended our usual church service, and after the service ended we began filing out to return to our homes and enjoy the rest of our Sunday. As we were walking towards the door, my wife Joyce turned around and went back to talk to a member of the Praise Band. His name was Gary, and Joyce went over to express her sympathy. Gary’s mother-in-law had just passed away. As I was waiting for Joyce, the minutes started passing by, and before long I realized Joyce and Gary were in a long conversation. Gary’s mother-in-law was very special to him, and he wanted to talk about her. My wife is a good listener, and she is always there for people to listen to them and bring them comfort.

I must confess my initial reaction was impatience…You know…”C’mon, we haven’t got all day” default. That thought quickly passed as I reminded myself that what I was seeing was my loving wife doing what she was meant to do: Give comfort and take time to listen to those who need a sympathetic ear. I went back in the narthex and found a devotion book I could read until Joyce was finished. If the truth were known, Joyce’s conversation with Gary was probably about 10 minutes.

We want to have strong relationships with the special people in our lives. If we run a business, we want our team members to be productive and give us their best. One of the best actions we can take to achieve these objectives is to take more time to get in touch with others, and be a sincere and sympathetic listener.

Posted: February 24, 2022 | Categories: Self-Improvement

For over 30 years, the first Saturday evening of every month was reserved for our card group. We are a group of eight couples who have lived and shared our lives together since our group started in 1990. We remember each other’s birthdays and give comfort to each other when there is a loss of a parent or loved one, and we are there for weddings and funerals. When the pandemic hit, these monthly gatherings stopped, and gradually we began to lose touch with one another. I am happy to say that our monthly card group events are resuming next month after the 2-year pause.

Many people I talk to have had disruptions in their friendships and families during this two-year trial. Now I notice people starting to come back together. As we all resume the lifestyle we put on hold, may I suggest a word of caution: Take it slow. Many people have been greatly affected by COVID, while others don’t pay much mind to it. What can we do to make sure our “reunion” can be smooth and enjoyable? Well, the old rules apply: Show genuine interest in others and what is going on in their lives. Go beyond the generic topics of sports and the weather. And we need to keep in mind the warning labels: Avoid talking about politics and religion. Diving in to these topics can get messy and quickly make a nice conversation turn ugly. Now I am going to suggest a new warning topic:  COVID! This is a topic that we have seen divide families and affect schools. People have developed strong beliefs about face coverings, mandates, and social distancing. If you dive into these subjects, it is unlikely that you will change someone’s mind, and you will run the risk of weakening the relationships.

Personally, I have had very few conversations regarding the virus. My coaching clients rarely bring it up unless it relates to a problem we are working on. My family doesn’t talk about it. They are having too much fun being new parents, and don’t want to take energy from the conversation.

Last week my wife was re-connecting with an old friend, and the first question she asked was, “Have you gotten the vaccine?…How about the booster?”. “When did you get it?” If you want to ask me such a question, I will reply “I’ll forgive you for asking if you forgive me for not answering”. All that said, May your renewed relationships blossom!

Posted: January 3, 2022 | Categories: Management, Self-Improvement

I have coached and trained almost my entire career. Helping others achieve growth means leading people out of their comfort zones so that they may enjoy a desired new ability. Here is a key fundamental: We learn from our mistakes and we grow from our successes. I share this example:

A couple weeks ago on Christmas day a neighbor boy came to our door and asked if he could use our driveway to practice learning to ride his new bike. His driveway led into the street, and ours ended in our yard…much safer!

He mounted his new bike with his sparkling spokes and was ready to take the plunge. Since I spend so much time coaching people, I couldn’t resist offering a couple tips: First,  I had him start with the right pedal up so that he could get a good start. Second, I encouraged him to pedal hard while looking straight ahead. Don’t look down! He took off and was tempted to look down. I stopped him and yelled, “Keep looking straight ahead!” He did. He had a success and made it all way to the end of the driveway. We repeated it three times, and we had three good outcomes. There were no falls. He was excited, and ran in to tell his Mom and Dad.

My goal in coaching him was not to have him learn by mistakes, rather to grow from his successes. Let’s face it, falling off a bike isn’t too motivating for most people. The lesson learned here is while we may learn from our mistakes, we grow from our wins. Think about it: If the only way we learned was from making mistakes, then the person in Illinois who had the most traffic accidents would be considered the best driver. Would you want to drive with him/her?

Posted: November 30, 2021 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement

“The reason there were so many heroes at the Alamo is that there was no back door”

Whether we are a parent, boss, or in charge of a team, we need to be a good teacher. What do good teachers do? You remember. Think of our favorites growing up. They believed in us, they wanted us to grow and prosper, and they would not let us sell ourselves short. We don’t do much growing in our comfort zone.

There are two types of delegation: One is designed to increase someone’s ability and confidence, and the other is for work distribution.

When I was in 5th grade, my teacher, Mrs. McGinness delegated a project to me. She appointed me editor of the class yearbook. It was a big project, and I didn’t think I could do it. Mrs. McGinness made me believe that I could.

To get started, I needed to break the job into “bite-size” chunks. If I hadn’t, it would have been overwhelming. I shared this list of tasks with Mrs. McGinness, and she directed me to put deadlines on each one. Then she checked in with me on each deadline to make sure I didn’t run into a snag. Losing steam was not an option. There were times when I got overwhelmed, and wanted her to help with the load. Nope. It was my “baby” she told me. I persevered and, if I may say so, did a pretty good job. Mrs. McGinness knew the magic phrases that kept me accountable and prevented her from “buying it back” Here were a few:

• I know you can do it…
• I am counting on you, Steve…
• What is your new plan of action?
• What are you going to do about it now?
• What is plan B?

Mrs. G kept me moving forward. That is what strong leaders do!