Posted: December 15, 2022 | Categories: Leadership, Presentation skills, Self-Improvement

Do we know what “charisma” is?  I thought I did until I heard the most boring definition of charisma I have ever heard.  The definition came in two words:  “Paying attention”.  That’s charisma?  After much pondering, I think the author was right.

A little over 30 years ago, I was visiting with the manager of a large hotel.  He was talking about his favorite all-time guest – President George H.W. Bush (Bush 41).  Jim (the hotel manager) knew President Bush loved tennis, and Jim had a custom racquet made just for the President.  (Racquets were made of wood in those days).  Jim presented the racquet to the President, and he was thrilled.  He immediately began carefully studying the racquet and took note of the details in workmanship and materials.  The President took the time to study the gift and appreciate all the effort that was put in to it.  How was the President able to do this?  Aren’t Presidents too busy?  Mr. Bush made the time to demonstrate the important value to him.  If you were to ask Jim if he thought President Bush had charisma, I am confident he would say yes…emphatically.

After I heard Jim tell this story, I reflected on some times when someone had done something special for me, and gone out of their way.  In particular, I thought of this old rocking chair I sat in as a toddler.  My brother-in-law, Ron had done a beautiful job refinishing the chair and surprised me with it during a visit to his home.  At first, I didn’t recognize the chair, and then it all came to mind.  Even though I thanked Ron for the gift, I could have spent much more time looking it over and commenting on his special work.  I regret that I did not.

Here is my advice.  If you are given something special that someone put their heart and soul in to, SLOW DOWN!.  Pat attention. Take the time.  You’ll be glad you did.  That’s charisma!

Posted: November 30, 2022 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

Mark Twain once said, “A sense of humor is a sense of proportion.”  If that maxim were true in the 19th century, it must be even truer today.  We live in a world full of tension.  It goes from global to family gatherings.  Whether it be health, finances, or relationships, our thoughts can take a downward turn if we are not careful.  I have found that a good, “laugh-at-life” sense of humor can often take the tension out of many human interactions that are headed south.   There are numerous examples I could use to illustrate this quality.  I will share my favorite:

In the spring of 1999, I went to a travelling baseball team tournament with my son David.  My parents came along.  My father had recently been treated for skin cancer, and it was necessary for him to wear a hat.  I must say it was the ugliest “floppy hat” I have ever seen.  Dad went to fill up his car.  Afterwards he headed for the snack shop to buy a cool drink.  As he approached the window, the lady behind the counter snapped, “We’re closed!”, and abruptly shut the window.  Rather than becoming angry at being treated so rudely, Dad calmly asked,”Was it the hat that did it?”.  The woman immediately began to laugh, opened up the window, and waited on my father.  Afterwards she said, “Thanks for brightening my day”.

As I reflect on this story I suspect the woman behind the counter was stressed about something in her life, and the last thing she wanted to do was interact with some old man wearing an ugly hat.  Dad’s humor was like medicine to her soul, and a tense situation was turned around into a memorable experience.

Posted: November 18, 2022 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Management, Self-Improvement, Team Building

There are certain things that irritate us.  They just do.  We know what those things are.  Do others?

Whenever someone is saying or doing something in a way that angers us, that is not good for teamwork and good communication.  Here is an example:

Beth is a bookkeeper at a community bank.  Her job requires that she manage projects that are time sensitive.  Sometimes her supervisor gets twitchy as the deadlines approach.  As a result he starts to nag Beth about getting it done.  That is not so bad.  There are times when most of us need a little nudge.  Here’s the problem:  Beth prides herself in knowing priorities and making every deadline  In Beth’s mind the nag from Nick interrupted her focus, and aggravated her.  She decided to address this frustration with Nick.  She detailed what he was doing and how it affected her ability to do her job.  At this point, Nick knew.  That left him with two choices:  Either keep nagging so that he could upset Beth, or stop nagging and allow her to enjoy her work with better focus.  Nick chose to back off.  That’s a “win-win”.

I’ll bet there are things people do or say that make your work more difficult.  Consider addressing the other person in a friendly way.  Explain the behavior that offends you and how it makes you feel.  Then request that they refrain from said activity.  Keep your team running smoothly.

Posted: September 15, 2022 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

In my post on September 13th, I talked about how we can prevent gossip by speaking up and confronting situations directly.  But wait a minute…What if we try to speak up and it ends up in a vicious argument?  We don’t want that.

To create and facilitate a quality conversation that solves problems, builds trust and prevents resentment, here are some points to keep in mind:

1. What is your trust level with this person?  If we don’t like or respect them, we can bet our attitude about them will leak.  (Attitudes almost always do)
2. Begin in a friendly way.  Assuming we do have adequate trust established, we should begin in a friendly manner.  In other words, don’t start out saying, “I have a bone to pick with you!”
3. Relate the fact.  Without judgment, relate the fact of what the other person did or didn’t do.  Then gently describe the effects this action had on you and your ability to do your job.
4. Ask them for a solution.  Instead of dictating, give the other person a chance to take ownership.  Ask them for ideas.  Listen, ask questions, and respond.
5. Come to a consensus.  Decide on solution and make sure you both agree.
6. Reassure.  Give reassurance that you are good with the solution and the problem is solved.  Agree to put the situation behind you, and move forward!

No matter how hard we try, we are going to do things that create a burden for someone else.  When we do, imagine how much smoother things will go if we approach in the way outlined above.

Posted: June 30, 2022 | Categories: Self-Improvement

“We carry ourselves with us wherever we go” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

In these stressful times, one thing we all value is peace of mind.  Without it, life can be a rough road.  In gaining and maintaining peace of mind, I find it often boils down to the choices we make and how we look back on them afterwards.

About a month ago a roofing contractor came to my home and wanted to inspect my roof.  He referred to a hail storm we had about a month earlier, and said it was likely our roof was damaged.  If so, we could make an insurance claim and get a free roof.  I recalled the hail storm he was referring to, and I remember it was no big deal.  There weren’t even any cars damaged.  My instincts were telling me, “This doesn’t seem right.”  I listened to my inner thoughts, and declined the inspection offer.

Within two weeks there were no less than 20 yard signs in my neighborhood, all with the name of the roofing contractor.  Considering all that, I began to wonder if my roof had truly been damaged.  I called my insurance company and they recommended I call a roofer I knew and trusted.  I did, and my roofer did inspect our roof.  He found no hail damage and said our roof would be good for another 3-5 years.  Immediately, my wife and I felt more at ease.  Rather than react, we took the time to trust and follow our instincts.  This is my message to you:  When things seem too easy or “slick”, take a step back and get in touch with your values.  You will make better decisions that help ensure a quality of life.