Posted: April 4, 2023 | Categories: Management, Self-Improvement

Have you ever been asked, “Do you have any hobbies?”  If your answer is, “I really don’t have any”, you may be missing something.  The happiest people I know have hobbies.  Those who are in constant stress tend not to have hobbies.  They don’t have the time…right?  Let me tell you about my friend, Dan.  He is 84, and living a life most people only dream of:

Dan began his career in pharmaceutical sales.  He was a champion performer and retired after 30 years on top of his game.  His next move was immediate:  He went to a career in executive coaching and team development.  He became a cohort of mine, and did brilliant work.  He retired after 15 years of coaching.  He was ready for his next career as an entertainer.

Dan is a natural performer and he started his own business of doing comedy and nostalgia shows for nursing homes.  He soon became quite successful, and was booking over 100 shows per year.

Dan is an example of the value of hobbies and avocations.  I can easily think of ten more people with similar stories.  There is one thing we can learn from every one of them:  Always have a hobby or avocation.  Doing so helps ensure balance, reduce stress, and may lead to our exciting next venture in life.

Posted: March 9, 2023 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Self-Improvement

I have been in managing and coaching for nearly 50 years, and I find myself often reflecting on what I have learned.  One of the most important lessons life has taught me is that I can’t change people.  I actually used to think I could.  I was wrong.  What we can do is be a positive influence and also teach others how we would like to be treated.  We have all known others who have been a positive influence on us.

I remember years ago I was standing in a short line in the service department of an auto dealer.  When it was my turn, I began to explain to the advisor the symptoms I was experiencing with my car.  He seemed to be impatient and dismissive.  Sensing this attitude, I paused and said, “I may be reading you all wrong, and if I am I apoligize.  I just get the feeling that you don’t really care about my problem and aren’t that interested in helping.  Am I interpreting you correctly?” I said it politely, and there were two others in line behind me.  The advisor immediately changed his tune, and got in step with me.  Soon my problem was diagnosed and solved.  Did I change this person’s attitude?  Probably not.  If that happened, fine.  My goal was to teach him how I wanted to be treated.  My first thought was to get mad and snap at him.  Instead I got ahold of my attitude and asked a question.  Even though there may be many people we would like to change in this world (and I’ll bet they want to change us!).  Before we try that, we can start first by teaching others how we would like to be treated.

Posted: February 20, 2023 | Categories: Management, Self-Improvement, Team Building

One of the most remarkable traits of a strong leader shows up when we talk to them one-on-one.  We walk away feeling good about ourselves.  Good leaders are people builders.  By contrast, have you ever had a conversation with a “people shrinker’?  By that I mean, after the interaction, you feel a little smaller than you did before.  That’s no good.  We build our businesses by building our people.

I would like to illustrate by sharing the most indelible example of people-building I have ever experienced.  The year was 1976.  I was single, 27 years old, and managed a business in a modest sized suburb of Chicago.  I was headed into the bank to make a deposit, and as I entered the doorway, I passed by a young girl selling candy.  My first thought was, “Oh boy, here comes another person shoving something in my face and trying to sell something.”  She didn’t say anything.  She just smiled a beautiful, genuine, smile.  I got ahold of my attitude, and politely asked her what she was selling.  She was selling candy bars as a fundraiser for her sister’s school.  I told her I didn’t want a candy bar, but I would buy one for her.  I gave her the dollar.  We had a short conversation, and moved on.

Several months later I was looking forward to a first date with someone I had been interested in for a long time.  When I went to pick up my date at her house, her sister came down the stairs and said, “That’s him”!  You guessed it, that was the girl that I bought the candy bar for, and she was selling them for her sister, the person I was taking out for the first time.  Things went well.  The bottom line:  That first date and I have been married for 45 years.  Imagine if I didn’t get control of my attitude that day and was abrupt with her sister.  This may be a personal example, but we all know our own examples of people who act kindly.  I end with this question:  Are you a people builder or a people shrinker?  Every human interaction is a moment of truth.  Make it a good one!

Posted: January 17, 2023 | Categories: Self-Improvement

The last I heard, the United States was the world’s leader in unused vacation days each year.  If we are not careful, we can end up like the beleaguered lumberjack who kept chopping at a frenetic pace and never took time to sharpen his axe.  If carefully planned and anticipated,  a vacation can give us time to sharpen our edge and come back to life with a fresh, eager mindset.

At this point you may be saying, “Money is tight…we can’t afford a vacation”.  If you are thinking that, let me share a personal experience I had 30 years ago that may spark your optimism:  I had just embarked on a new career change and money and time were tight.  Our family decided to take a trip to Nashville – about a 7-hour drive..  We only had a few days, so we planned well to make sure we made full use of our time.

When we arrived in Nashville we took another look at our itinerary, and found ourselves a little stressed out.  We decided to cancel out one full day of planned activity and replace it with a day lounging around the hotel pool.  We spent our “pool day” in total relaxation.  My wife and I read and talked while our two young boys swam.  It was a perfect day.

Since that Nashville trip, we have had many nice trips, including several cruises, trips to Europe, and a good chunk of the United States.  This may sound crazy to say, but our little trip to Nashville stands as one of our favorites.  It taught us a two-point lesson:

1. Plan your trip well
2. Be flexible

My challenge to you:  Be bold and plan a vacation.  If you do, you will find your mind, body, and mental state in a better zone.

Posted: December 15, 2022 | Categories: Leadership, Presentation skills, Self-Improvement

Do we know what “charisma” is?  I thought I did until I heard the most boring definition of charisma I have ever heard.  The definition came in two words:  “Paying attention”.  That’s charisma?  After much pondering, I think the author was right.

A little over 30 years ago, I was visiting with the manager of a large hotel.  He was talking about his favorite all-time guest – President George H.W. Bush (Bush 41).  Jim (the hotel manager) knew President Bush loved tennis, and Jim had a custom racquet made just for the President.  (Racquets were made of wood in those days).  Jim presented the racquet to the President, and he was thrilled.  He immediately began carefully studying the racquet and took note of the details in workmanship and materials.  The President took the time to study the gift and appreciate all the effort that was put in to it.  How was the President able to do this?  Aren’t Presidents too busy?  Mr. Bush made the time to demonstrate the important value to him.  If you were to ask Jim if he thought President Bush had charisma, I am confident he would say yes…emphatically.

After I heard Jim tell this story, I reflected on some times when someone had done something special for me, and gone out of their way.  In particular, I thought of this old rocking chair I sat in as a toddler.  My brother-in-law, Ron had done a beautiful job refinishing the chair and surprised me with it during a visit to his home.  At first, I didn’t recognize the chair, and then it all came to mind.  Even though I thanked Ron for the gift, I could have spent much more time looking it over and commenting on his special work.  I regret that I did not.

Here is my advice.  If you are given something special that someone put their heart and soul in to, SLOW DOWN!.  Pat attention. Take the time.  You’ll be glad you did.  That’s charisma!