Posted: March 9, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement

“Good manners are made of petty sacrifices”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

In September of 1992, my oldest son entered 1st grade.  After a week went by, Kevin shared something special that his teacher did.  She boosted his confidence, and made him feel better about himself.  When Kevin shared this story, I began reflecting on my 1st grade teacher.  I had just moved from another state, and I didn’t know anyone.  Mrs. Wingard made me feel special, and she did it by her genuine smile and interest in me as a person.   I never forgot it.  I decided it was time to say thank you.  I took 15 minutes to write a hand-written note expressing my gratitude, and telling her how important she was in my life.  Three days letter my mother called.  Mrs. Wingard called her, and was ecstatic about the note.  She had retired, and said that in all her years, she had never received a note like that.  I had done something that was very meaningful to someone else, and it only took me 15 minutes?  It was an eye-opener.

Are you a busy person?  Are you too busy?  Here are some words I read many years ago that may help answer this question:

You know you are too busy if you don’t…

• Write thank you notes
• Call family members just to say “Hi”
• Give a hug to someone
• Cry with someone who has experienced a recent loss
• Write a letter to a friend
• Acknowledge birthdays in some way
• Read a good book
• Listen to some good music
• Visit a friend
• Play with your grandchildren
• Say “I love you” to your parents
• Say “I love you” to your children
• Learn something new
• Smile
• Compliment someone
• Share a sunrise/sunset with someone
• Listen to the birds/smell the roses
• Climb a mountain

Time to get really busy!

Posted: January 7, 2020 | Categories: Presentation skills, Sales, Self-Improvement

“You can get anything you want if you help enough other people get what they want”

–  Zig Ziglar

Mr. Ziglar shared his priceless secret.  As much sense as it makes, I still see so many folks trying to be persuasive by talking about what they want.  Sorry to burst your bubble…most people aren’t thinking about what you want:  They are thinking about what they want.

For example, many years ago I was working with a manager on her communication skills with her boss.  She wanted her boss to give her a raise, and when she approached him he wasn’t receptive.  We talked about her strategy, and changed it to a WIFM discussion.  (What’s in it for me?).  She talked in terms of what her boss wanted.  Here is what happened in her own words:

“On Tuesday of this week I met with my boss and asked for my promotion.  This has been a sore point for well over a year now, and this time I tried a different approach.  I laid out figures and talked about what he was interested in, and how I had helped meet some of his main corporate objectives,  Towards the end, he said, “Maybe it’s time we started paying you for the management job you are doing”.  It works! 

Some sales professionals need to learn from Barb.  Instead of saying, “I want to meet with you”, say something like, “I help people achieve more peace of mind with their financial future.  I may be able to do the same for you.  My goal in calling you is to set a time when we can get together, understand your situation and what you are looking to do, and see if we have some common ground.  Would you like to set a time?”

When selling yourself or your ideas, remember to talk in terms of the other person’s interest.  You will have more success!

Posted: December 27, 2019 | Categories: Self-Improvement

We are at the threshold of entering a new year and decade.  If you believe that each of us as individuals have special gifts and that every day is a gift from the almighty, you are probably one who strives to live a life of purpose and fulfillment.

In my coaching, I occasionally will come across people who are unsure of what they should be doing and where they should be going.  If this is a challenge for you, allow me to share some questions you can ask yourself that can channel your thoughts in a direction that is right for you.  These questions are from Brian Tracy, a noted speaker and author.  .  Here they are:

8 Ways for you to identify and determine your special talent and what you are uniquely suited to do:

1. You will always be the best at something that you love to do. If you could afford it, you would do it without pay.  It brings out the very best in you, and you get a tremendous amount of satisfaction and enjoyment when you are engaged in that particular work.

2. You do it well. You seem to have a natural ability to perform in that area.

3. This talent has been responsible for most of your success and happiness in life up to now. From an early age, it is something you enjoyed to do and you got the greatest rewards and compliments from other people.

4. It is something that was easy for you to learn, and easy to do. In fact, it was so easy to do, you forgot when and how you learned it.  You just found yourself doing it easy and well one day.

5. It holds your attention. It absorbs you and fascinates you.  You like to read about it, talk about it, and learn about it. It seems to attract you like a moth to a flame.

6. You love to learn about it, and become better at it all your life. You have a deep inner desire to really excel in this particular area.

7. When you do what you are ideally suited to do, time stands still.  You can often work in your area of special talent for long periods without eating or sleeping hour after hour because you get so involved in it.

8. You really admire and respect other people who are good at what you are most suited to do. You want to be like them and be around them, and emulate them in every way.

It is the holidays.  You likely have some extra time.  Why not dig in to a couple of these questions?

Posted: October 4, 2019 | Categories: Customer service, Sales, Self-Improvement

When I began my career, one of my first objectives was to build my skills in professional selling.  I enrolled in a 12-week course that broke the sales process into five steps that contained 23 fundamentals.  Soon after I began the training, I asked myself, “Why do they just teach the sales process to salespeople?  Why not everyone?”  What I discovered was that learning the fundamentals of the sales process not only helps our success in selling, it also positively affects our personal lives with friends, children, and partners.  Allow me to illustrate by giving a simple overview of the 5 steps of selling:

Step #1:  Generate rapport.  We begin in a friendly way that results in the prospect viewing us favorably.  This enables us to generate a willingness to have a conversation.

Step #2:  Show genuine interest.  That’s fine that we are a nice person.  Our next step is to understand the other person, their situation, and what they need.  We do this by asking good questions, listening to the answers, and affirming that we have heard correctly.

Step #3:  Present the solution. Now that we know what someone needs and why it is important to them, we can recommend a solution that appeals to their interest.

Step #4:  Secure commitment.  Once we have agreed on the solution, we ask for their commitment.

Step #5:  Act.  Now that we are committed, we take action!

OK.  Now imagine you needed to have a serious conversation with your teenager.  Wouldn’t this process apply?  My recommendation:  Learn the sales process (but don’t tell them you are not in selling)

Posted: September 9, 2019 | Categories: Leadership, Presentation skills, Self-Improvement

Many years ago, UCLA profession Albert Mehrabian did a study on communication, and found that a scant 7% of our effectiveness comes from words.  The remainder comes from our tone of voice and our body language.  That is nice to know, but let’s not forget the power or words.

Several months ago, I was facilitating a training session, and we were about to do some role playing.  I noticed a hesitant look on one of the participant’s face, and I asked if she had a question.  She replied, “No,  I just don’t do role playing.  I’m no good at it.  It doesn’t work for me.”  When I heard this, I knew I had to backtrack.  She doesn’t like role-playing and that means when she hears the term “role-playing” she shuts down.  Like all trainers, I want people to be engaged in the process .  I said, “let me put it another way.  We are going to practice the fundamentals we have just reviewed so that we increase our skill in applying them.”  Saying this worked better, and I got her back on board.  When I used the word “practice”, I was using a term that refers to a vital component in building any skill or increased ability.  I have replaced the term “role-playing” with “practice”, and this has worked well for me.

Do you have a word that doesn’t set well with you?  I think we all do.  I don’t like the word “compelling”.  All I need to do is tell you that, and you will probably use a substitute.  Now more than any other time I can recall in my 70 years,it is important to be sensitive with our word selection.  If we ruffle some feathers, find a word or phrase that lands better.  This will help you keep your listeners more in there with you.