Posted: July 21, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement

“Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans”

– John Lennon

You don’t have to answer this question out loud.  I don’t want to embarrass you.  Have you ever sat through a performance, program, or sermon and found yourself dozing? Because you were amongst a crowd, nobody saw you…right?  No.  That’s not right.

Here is something that all presenters know:  If we are one person in a crowd of 250, we can make a positive difference on the presenter and the quality of the program just by our alertness, engagement, and expression on our face.  Part of my work involves public speaking, and one of the first things a presenter does is look for the “sparkler” in the crowd.  This person may have a built-in smile on their face, or just a sparkle in their eye, and we can pick it up like radar.  We don’t stare at this person, but we do glimpse at them a lot to help keep our energy level where it needs to be. Afterward, this person often has questions, and we realize that during the presentation we have built some trust with them, and we are probably very receptive to what they have to say.  They are more influential.

A few years ago I was in an audience listening to a presentation from a person who worked with autistic children.  I knew she had not given many presentations before, and I sensed she was a little nervous.  I was sitting towards the back of the room.  It was a 40-minute presentation, and the entire time I was looking at her and doing my best to be encouraging.  After the program she singled me out, and told me how much she appreciated my smile and encouraging nods.  She said she would never forget it.

The next time we are hearing someone present, let’s remind ourselves of the responsibility we have as a member of the crowd.  So often we make a difference without saying a word!

Posted: June 5, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement, Team Building

Our nation has been going through a storm the past three months.  First came the Corona Virus, then the civil unrest sparked by the George Floyd tragedy.  We are all stirred up, and each day are compelled to choose the right thinking that keeps us moving forward.

Just this week, Suzanne Corr, Executive Director of the Barrington, Illinois Chamber of Commerce, wrote a column billed, “Listen with the heart”.  She talked about some things we can do to have conversations that are valuable rather than divisive.

This reminded me of an interview I heard nearly 20 years ago.  It was on a morning news program, and former Education Secretary William Bennett was being interviewed.  He had just written his book, “Death of Outrage”.  It was in reference to then President Clinton and the political scandal that led to his impeachment.  It was a book critical of the President.  At the same time, Robert Bennett (William’s brother) was the defense attorney for President Clinton.  The interviewer pointed this out and said, “I take it you and your brother don’t get along”.   William immediately replied, “That’s wrong.  My brother and I love each other, are very close, and we spend as much time together as we can.  We were both brought up to be our own person.  That is who we are.  Just because you have different views doesn’t mean you can’t be close”

Both of my boys are in their early 30’s, and they have different political views.  They love each other and spend a lot of time together.  Caution:  I am by no means recommending that you go around getting involved in political discussions.  In both the case of the Bennett brothers and my sons, you have to have built a solid base of love and trust.  Have a quality conversation with someone you love, trust and respect.  Listen to understand.  Expect to learn something!

Posted: May 25, 2020 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement

“My favorite person in the whole world is my grandmother.  She always has time for me”

-5-year old on Art Linkletter show

During this virus crisis, many of us have more time to spend at home with our family.  This unique situation can provide opportunities to strengthen relationships and make good memories.  Most of us can recall a special memory from our childhood that we treasure.  For me, the first one that comes to mind is when I was 4.  Like most 4-year olds, I lived in a world of 95% creativity, and spent my time observing, trying, falling, and learning.

One day I decided to play with a piece of chalk.  I had just learned how to draw arrows, and I began doing so on each sidewalk square.  It was fun as I was experimenting with my new-found skill.  I just kept going with no idea of getting lost or hurt.  After doing 20 squares or so, I paused to look at my surroundings.  I was lost!  I had no idea where I was.  Just as I was about to panic, round the corner came my 6’3″ dad, smiling from ear to ear.  Dad was there!  I asked him how he found me.  I should have figured it out.  He followed the arrows.

As you might guess, this story is packed with meaning for me.  Dad was looking out for me and showed me once again that he was here to help me grow.  I realize now that this moment could have gone much differently.  Instead of taking the loving and smiling approach, what if he had yelled at me or scolded me for leaving the yard or crossing the street?  I am sure we talked about that later, but all I recall is him being there and looking out for me.  What special memories can you create with your loved ones in this extra time?  There is one to be had every day…even if it is only a tiny one.  It may be huge to someone else.

Posted: May 1, 2020 | Categories: Sales, Self-Improvement

About 15 years ago I was working for a company with a close-knit staff of about 25.  On one bittersweet day, we had a surprise going away party for a departing co-worker who had been part of the team for many years.  Tom was loved by his teammates, and we wanted to show our appreciation in a special way.

Tom was an active baseball player and loved the game.  We decided to buy him a mitt that was signed by each of us.  Because the mitt was a memento and likely would never be used, you would think we would have bought an inexpensive one.  No.  We bought a Wilson A-2000.  This is one of the most common choices of Major League pitchers, and they are predictably expensive.  Tom was overwhelmed and became very emotional.  Later he shared that his joy went way beyond the signed mitt.  It meant a lot that we thought that much of him.  What we did is called a “jaw-dropper”, and when we do things like this, they strengthen relationships and are never forgotten.

Due to the Corona Virus crisis, many of us are finding that we have extra time on our hands.  Here’s one way we can use this time wisely.  Deepen our relationships with a “jaw-dropper”.  Here are a couple other examples to get your creativity going:

My birthday was last Tuesday, and two of the cards I received were hand made.  Much time and thought had been put in to both cards.  In one case, the person had included pictures they had uncovered from my high school and college yearbooks.   Most important, each card had a touching personal note saying how much they valued me as a life-long friend.  At 71, getting something like that is truly a “jaw-dropper”

Think of a relationship you have that you value highly.  Why are they so important?  What is something that you could say or do for them that radiates your thoughts with an exclamation point?  Go for the “jaw-dropper’!

Posted: April 23, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement

Discover your passion.  Find a need and fill it.  Love what you do.  Most of us have likely heard these “rah-rah” phrases.  Here is the reality:  When top business schools have conducted surveys the results consistently indicate that about 50-60% of the U.S. working population does not like his or her job. Their job is necessary to pay the mortgage and support the family.  Once we get situated, it is hard and often expensive to change.

We have probably all seen a situation when someone was well established in their career, earning a high income, and no longer liked their work.  They want to do something they enjoy, but can’t afford to make the change.

Our country is in midst of a health crisis now, and many we know are laid off or furloughed. The good news is that these folks have a lot of time  to re-evaluate and review their life plans.  As we do this, I want to give you some points to dwell on that can help you find your “true north”.  These questions come from Brian Tracy.  He is a successful author, business consultant, and trainer.  Here are his key points:

1. You will always be the best at something that you love to do. If you could afford it, you would do it without pay.  It brings out the very best in you, and you get a tremendous amount of satisfaction and enjoyment when you are engaged in that particular work.

2. You do it well. You seem to have a natural ability to perform in that area.

3. This talent has been responsible for most of your success and happiness in life up to now. From an early age, it is something you enjoyed to do and you got the greatest rewards and compliments from other people.

4. It is something that was easy for you to learn, and easy to do. In fact, it was so easy to do, you forgot when and how you learned it.  You just found yourself doing it easy and well one day.

5. It holds your attention. It absorbs you and fascinates you.  You like to read about it, talk about it, and learn about it. It seems to attract you like a moth to a flame.

6. You love to learn about it, and become better at it all your life. You have a deep inner desire to really excel in this particular area.

7. When you do what you are ideally suited to do, time stands still.  You can often work in your area of special talent for long periods without eating or sleeping hour after hour because you get so involved in it.

8. You really admire and respect other people who are good at what you are most suited to do. You want to be like them and be around them, and emulate them in every way.

Take some time to go narrow and deep on these points.  Odds are, you will find yourself closer to what you love, and more eager to pursue a new direction.