Posted: February 26, 2021 | Categories: Self-Improvement

Have you ever be so stressed that you felt like you were putting “10lbs. into 5-lb. bag”?  If so, it may be a good time for you to take a step back and re-examine your priorities.  To help put yourself in the right mindset, here is a piece a good friend shared with me many years ago.  I have referred to it often:

To all the rocks in your life… A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him.  When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks.  They were about 2 inches in diameter.  He then asked the students if the jar was full.  They agreed that it was.  The professor then picked up a box of pebbles, and rolled them into open areas between the rocks.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full.  They said yes.  He then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.  Of course the sand filled up everything else.  Now, said the professor, I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children,  and anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.  The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job your house, and your car.  The sand is everything else.  If you put the sand in the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks.  The same goes for your life.  If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.  Pat attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.   Play with your children.  Take time to get medical checkups.  Take your partner out dancing.  There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.  Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter.  Set your priorities.  The rest is just sand.

Next question:  How do we determine our top priorities? (Big rocks)  Look at all the tasks and activities before you and ask these two questions:

1. How much will I benefit if I do this task or activity?
2. How much will I suffer if I don’t?

If the answer is “strong benefit” or “strong suffering”, you are probably looking at an “A” priority.  Put the “big rocks” in first, and the less important will find its way around the rocks.

Posted: February 22, 2021 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

Humility: Having a showing or consciousness of ones defects or shortcomings.– Webster’s New World Dictionary

In his book, “The Ideal Team Player”, Patrick Lencioni talks about the most important quality of the strongest team players:  Humility.

Are you a “just” person? Let me explain what I mean by that. A couple weeks ago I was talking with my youngest son. He is 33 and had been married for 3 years. I had asked David a challenging question, and he did not become defensive. I could tell he had thought carefully about my question, and he did not comment. Later on, David shared this: “When you asked me that question I was so tempted to say, “I just…” I held back and I am glad I did rather than reacting or becoming defensive.  I thought your question was good and I should give it careful consideration. I did so, and it helped me. I also realized the number of times people would say something starting with, “I just…”. Now whenever I am tempted to respond with “I just”, I take a step back and gave myself some time to think.”

David’s comments caused me to reflect on the number of “I just” moments I have had. I don’t use “I just” anymore and I don’t miss it. Not doing so has helped me become a more empathetic and improved listener. Try it! I believe you will find others will be more open to your ideas.

Posted: December 31, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement

“Fun is how you feel during…happiness is how you feel afterwards”

– Bits and Pieces

It is December 31, 2020, and I just finished a phone call with an old friend and business owner who completed his most profitable year ever.  As you can imagine, he is in good spirits.  For Robert and his family it has been a good year.  Of course, there were parts of 2020 that Robert didn’t like.  His mom passed away in a care facility and he wasn’t able to be with her during her last final moments.  He loves to dine out and go to movies, and he missed these activities.  His daughter is a school teacher and he has 6 grandchildren.  Their school schedule has undergone a complete upheaval.  The list could go on, but you get the picture.  Like all of us, Robert’s life was severely disrupted.

In reading my Christmas cards and talking to my friends this past couple weeks, I frequently hear 2020 referred to as a bad year.  If you lost a relative or close friend to Covid, you will probably not reflect on this year as your favorite.  Let’s face it…2020 has not been a fun year.  Robert didn’t have a fun year, but he had a happy one.  He looked for opportunity, made a plan, and followed through with his plan diligently.  He didn’t complain, he didn’t blame and he was always on offense.  Ironically, others in his same profession did poorly, but not Robert.  He developed a winning mindset and he won.  How about you?  What are your expectations for 2021?  I hope they are great.  Happy New Year!

Posted: December 21, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement

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Posted: December 21, 2020 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

I have two sons who are now married and in their mid-30’s.  Growing up, they loved to play baseball in the back yard.  One day I was coaching my son, Kevin as he was working on his batting skills.  I was frustrated that he wasn’t doing something right, and I made a comment that was not supportive.  As soon as I did, Kevin had a puzzled look on his face and asked, “Dad, was that a put-down?”  My first instinct was to respond, “Oh no, I just…(blah, blah, blah)”.  Instead, I paused, reflected on what I had just said, and replied, “Yes, Kevin.  That was a put-down and I was wrong to do that.  I am sorry”.  When I said that, I could feel the tension leave my body, and Kevin and I were back on track.

To be clear, when I say “put-down”, I do not mean we don’t ever re-direct someone.  A strong team strives for excellence, and each team member knows how to keep one another accountable.  For example, let’s say I am playing baseball in the outfield and not paying attention.  As a result, I mess up a play.  My team members have every right to say, “Hey Brainerd, wake-up!”

Throughout the holidays you may be with many friends and relatives.  You will also be with your team members at work.  Whatever your situation, when you are tempted to find fault, take a step back and pause.  If something needs to be said, say it in a way that builds trust and respect, not resentment.