Posted: February 22, 2021 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

Humility: Having a showing or consciousness of ones defects or shortcomings.– Webster’s New World Dictionary

In his book, “The Ideal Team Player”, Patrick Lencioni talks about the most important quality of the strongest team players:  Humility.

Are you a “just” person? Let me explain what I mean by that. A couple weeks ago I was talking with my youngest son. He is 33 and had been married for 3 years. I had asked David a challenging question, and he did not become defensive. I could tell he had thought carefully about my question, and he did not comment. Later on, David shared this: “When you asked me that question I was so tempted to say, “I just…” I held back and I am glad I did rather than reacting or becoming defensive.  I thought your question was good and I should give it careful consideration. I did so, and it helped me. I also realized the number of times people would say something starting with, “I just…”. Now whenever I am tempted to respond with “I just”, I take a step back and gave myself some time to think.”

David’s comments caused me to reflect on the number of “I just” moments I have had. I don’t use “I just” anymore and I don’t miss it. Not doing so has helped me become a more empathetic and improved listener. Try it! I believe you will find others will be more open to your ideas.

Posted: December 31, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement

“Fun is how you feel during…happiness is how you feel afterwards”

– Bits and Pieces

It is December 31, 2020, and I just finished a phone call with an old friend and business owner who completed his most profitable year ever.  As you can imagine, he is in good spirits.  For Robert and his family it has been a good year.  Of course, there were parts of 2020 that Robert didn’t like.  His mom passed away in a care facility and he wasn’t able to be with her during her last final moments.  He loves to dine out and go to movies, and he missed these activities.  His daughter is a school teacher and he has 6 grandchildren.  Their school schedule has undergone a complete upheaval.  The list could go on, but you get the picture.  Like all of us, Robert’s life was severely disrupted.

In reading my Christmas cards and talking to my friends this past couple weeks, I frequently hear 2020 referred to as a bad year.  If you lost a relative or close friend to Covid, you will probably not reflect on this year as your favorite.  Let’s face it…2020 has not been a fun year.  Robert didn’t have a fun year, but he had a happy one.  He looked for opportunity, made a plan, and followed through with his plan diligently.  He didn’t complain, he didn’t blame and he was always on offense.  Ironically, others in his same profession did poorly, but not Robert.  He developed a winning mindset and he won.  How about you?  What are your expectations for 2021?  I hope they are great.  Happy New Year!

Posted: December 21, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement

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Posted: December 21, 2020 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

I have two sons who are now married and in their mid-30’s.  Growing up, they loved to play baseball in the back yard.  One day I was coaching my son, Kevin as he was working on his batting skills.  I was frustrated that he wasn’t doing something right, and I made a comment that was not supportive.  As soon as I did, Kevin had a puzzled look on his face and asked, “Dad, was that a put-down?”  My first instinct was to respond, “Oh no, I just…(blah, blah, blah)”.  Instead, I paused, reflected on what I had just said, and replied, “Yes, Kevin.  That was a put-down and I was wrong to do that.  I am sorry”.  When I said that, I could feel the tension leave my body, and Kevin and I were back on track.

To be clear, when I say “put-down”, I do not mean we don’t ever re-direct someone.  A strong team strives for excellence, and each team member knows how to keep one another accountable.  For example, let’s say I am playing baseball in the outfield and not paying attention.  As a result, I mess up a play.  My team members have every right to say, “Hey Brainerd, wake-up!”

Throughout the holidays you may be with many friends and relatives.  You will also be with your team members at work.  Whatever your situation, when you are tempted to find fault, take a step back and pause.  If something needs to be said, say it in a way that builds trust and respect, not resentment.

Posted: December 7, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement

It’s the first week in December, and that means it is time to get our best mindset for the holiday season.  Even with Covid restrictions, it is likely that many of us will be attending social events and family gatherings.

For nearly 20 years, I facilitated leadership classes year round.  During that time I noticed that each holiday season, many would dread getting together with some relatives – particularly the ones they seemed to get their “fill of” quickly!  When we don’t look forward to an event, we usually don’t have a very good time.  That is unfortunate. Is there anything we can do?  Maybe.

For the first several years we were married, my wife and I kept a weekend scrapbook.  In this book, we summarized the events of each weekend of the year, and illustrated the pages with pictures and mementos.  One year we decided to spend New Year’s Eve reading through the years events and evaluate them.  We reviewed all the weekends and various activities, and rated them on a scale of 1-10.  The ratings we gave referred to how much we like the event or activity.  Joyce’s ratings and my ratings matched up pretty closely.  There was one thing we noticed that was peculiar:  One event occurred twice during the year.  It was with the same friends, and we did the same activities.  One of these events we rated high.  The other got a poor rating.  We wondered why, so we did some thinking.  We realized that our thinking going into the low-rated event was negative.  We were upset about something.  We went into the event with low expectations.  Here is what we learned:  When we are going to an event or function, we need to do an attitude check beforehand.  What is our enthusiasm on  scale of 1-10?  Is is an five?  Why?  What do we need to do to take it up a couple notches?  Then we give ourselves a pep talk, and keep talking to ourselves until our attitude is up to speed.  This works for us, and it has resulted in us enjoying many events that we normally we would have just “got it over with”.  The most important words we say each day are the ones we say to ourselves.  Happy Holidays!