Posted: October 15, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement

“A sense of humor is needed armor”

-Hugh Sidey

Let’s talk about the value of having a healthy sense of humor:

Two days ago I was in a meeting with a church group I belong to.  We have all known each other for years.  We were reviewing a book we had been assigned to read.  During our discussion, the virtue of “counting daily blessings” was brought up.  That reminded me of a story, and I shared it with the group:

On New Year’s Eve of 2018, my wife presented me with a calendar she had been writing in all year.  Each day, without fail, she would write something special about me.  She noted nice things I said and did.  I loved reading it, and it was one of those “feel good” gifts.  Then, I began reflecting on what I had read.  I said to Joyce, “You know something…if I had known you were doing this, I could have done a lot better.  I’ll bet some days were better than others”.  Joyce replied, “Yes, there were a few that were a stretch!”

After telling this story, the whole group roared in laughter.  Then everyone else told their crazy story about their experience of human comedy.  We all were overcome with laughter, and before we knew it, we had gone one hour over our usual meeting time.  As we were wrapping things up, one veteran member of the group said, “This meeting has been so much fun,  The laughter has soothed my soul.  The world seems tense right now, and I think they could use a little of this”

I agree.  We need more humor – not less.  I am talking about healthy humor – the kind where we can laugh at ourselves or life in general with no personal insult to anyone.  It feels good.  Pour me another cup.

Posted: September 18, 2020 | Categories: Customer service, Self-Improvement

Last week I received a letter from the Illinois Tollway Authority.  What could it possibly be about?  I opened the envelope and was dismayed to find that I was charged $24.60.  That included $5.80 for tolls and $18.80 in fees and fines.  How could that be?  I had more than enough in my I-Pass account to cover that amount.

The next day I called the Tollway number.  I was connected with Donna, and I gave her all the information about my account.  When she looked it up, she found that the license numbers given on the notice didn’t match the ones on my account.  Of course they didn’t.  I know you are always supposed to document any changes in license numbers.  In the past 20 years I have bought a car or two, and usually get a new plate.  I never registered the new plates.  I figured if the toll booths missed the transponder signal, they would have my license plate, and could look it up.  Donna informed me that is was my responsibility to keep license information current, and they know longer looked up the number.  If the tag number does not relate to a specific I-Pass account, it goes as a skipped toll.  When I asked if I still owed the fees and fines, she said “Yes.  It was your responsibility to keep your license information current, and you didn’t do it”.  I paused, then said, “You know something Donna, I am going to get that money back.  It will cost them double.  I will curtail my tollway use, and it won’t be long before I have all the money back.  I look forward to taking the backroads and enjoying the scenery.”  Donna laughed, then replied, ‘I don’t blame you.  I don’t like the tollways either.  I have a convertible, and I like the backroads.”  We then got into a conversation about her summer and her convertible.  When the conversation was over, I still owed the money, but had the satisfaction of possibly putting a little spark into someones day.  Before the conversation was over, she did not represent the tollway.  The tollway was “they!”

Posted: July 21, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement

“Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans”

– John Lennon

You don’t have to answer this question out loud.  I don’t want to embarrass you.  Have you ever sat through a performance, program, or sermon and found yourself dozing? Because you were amongst a crowd, nobody saw you…right?  No.  That’s not right.

Here is something that all presenters know:  If we are one person in a crowd of 250, we can make a positive difference on the presenter and the quality of the program just by our alertness, engagement, and expression on our face.  Part of my work involves public speaking, and one of the first things a presenter does is look for the “sparkler” in the crowd.  This person may have a built-in smile on their face, or just a sparkle in their eye, and we can pick it up like radar.  We don’t stare at this person, but we do glimpse at them a lot to help keep our energy level where it needs to be. Afterward, this person often has questions, and we realize that during the presentation we have built some trust with them, and we are probably very receptive to what they have to say.  They are more influential.

A few years ago I was in an audience listening to a presentation from a person who worked with autistic children.  I knew she had not given many presentations before, and I sensed she was a little nervous.  I was sitting towards the back of the room.  It was a 40-minute presentation, and the entire time I was looking at her and doing my best to be encouraging.  After the program she singled me out, and told me how much she appreciated my smile and encouraging nods.  She said she would never forget it.

The next time we are hearing someone present, let’s remind ourselves of the responsibility we have as a member of the crowd.  So often we make a difference without saying a word!

Posted: June 5, 2020 | Categories: Self-Improvement, Team Building

Our nation has been going through a storm the past three months.  First came the Corona Virus, then the civil unrest sparked by the George Floyd tragedy.  We are all stirred up, and each day are compelled to choose the right thinking that keeps us moving forward.

Just this week, Suzanne Corr, Executive Director of the Barrington, Illinois Chamber of Commerce, wrote a column billed, “Listen with the heart”.  She talked about some things we can do to have conversations that are valuable rather than divisive.

This reminded me of an interview I heard nearly 20 years ago.  It was on a morning news program, and former Education Secretary William Bennett was being interviewed.  He had just written his book, “Death of Outrage”.  It was in reference to then President Clinton and the political scandal that led to his impeachment.  It was a book critical of the President.  At the same time, Robert Bennett (William’s brother) was the defense attorney for President Clinton.  The interviewer pointed this out and said, “I take it you and your brother don’t get along”.   William immediately replied, “That’s wrong.  My brother and I love each other, are very close, and we spend as much time together as we can.  We were both brought up to be our own person.  That is who we are.  Just because you have different views doesn’t mean you can’t be close”

Both of my boys are in their early 30’s, and they have different political views.  They love each other and spend a lot of time together.  Caution:  I am by no means recommending that you go around getting involved in political discussions.  In both the case of the Bennett brothers and my sons, you have to have built a solid base of love and trust.  Have a quality conversation with someone you love, trust and respect.  Listen to understand.  Expect to learn something!

Posted: May 25, 2020 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement

“My favorite person in the whole world is my grandmother.  She always has time for me”

-5-year old on Art Linkletter show

During this virus crisis, many of us have more time to spend at home with our family.  This unique situation can provide opportunities to strengthen relationships and make good memories.  Most of us can recall a special memory from our childhood that we treasure.  For me, the first one that comes to mind is when I was 4.  Like most 4-year olds, I lived in a world of 95% creativity, and spent my time observing, trying, falling, and learning.

One day I decided to play with a piece of chalk.  I had just learned how to draw arrows, and I began doing so on each sidewalk square.  It was fun as I was experimenting with my new-found skill.  I just kept going with no idea of getting lost or hurt.  After doing 20 squares or so, I paused to look at my surroundings.  I was lost!  I had no idea where I was.  Just as I was about to panic, round the corner came my 6’3″ dad, smiling from ear to ear.  Dad was there!  I asked him how he found me.  I should have figured it out.  He followed the arrows.

As you might guess, this story is packed with meaning for me.  Dad was looking out for me and showed me once again that he was here to help me grow.  I realize now that this moment could have gone much differently.  Instead of taking the loving and smiling approach, what if he had yelled at me or scolded me for leaving the yard or crossing the street?  I am sure we talked about that later, but all I recall is him being there and looking out for me.  What special memories can you create with your loved ones in this extra time?  There is one to be had every day…even if it is only a tiny one.  It may be huge to someone else.