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Category: Sales
Emotional intelligence starts with thinking right about people
Have you ever talked to an excellent customer service rep regarding a product or service-related problem? It is amazing how kind, caring and helpful a good rep can be. They must talk to their share of angry and irritating people, yet they have sense of equanimity about them that is fascinating. They have learned to “think right about people”, not take things personally, and focus on solving our problem.
When I was in my 20’s, I managed a property for a national lodging chain. I remember a specific customer we’ll call Mr. “K”. He was demanding, abrasive, and treated the front desk staff poorly. It wasn’t long before the team saw Mr. “K” as “persona non grata”. I could tell Mr. “K” was beginning to affect the morale of my staff, and decided to follow the philosophy of Mark Twain: “A sense of humor is a sense of proportion.”
I have always been good at impersonating others, and I developed a good impersonation of Mr. “K”. I captured his voice and mannerisms and began to act in character. I would wander around the front desk area with the stern look and intimidating voice of Mr. “K”. Each time I needed to tell the staff something or correct them on an error, I played Mr. “K”. The staff loved it, and we had a blast. I must admit that at first we were mocking him. Then a change occurred that we would not have predicted: We began to like Mr. “K” and looked forward to his visits. We were thinking good about him, and it showed up in our tone and facial expressions. This change in our thinking resulted in a change in our behavior. You see, abrasive people are not used to being treated kindly. Being nice to them can be disarming.
Mr. “K” became one of our favorite guests. He raved about our place and referred his friends to us. He was a walking commercial. The lesson here comes from author David J. Schwartz: We should “think right about people”. When we do, we strengthen relationships and become more influential.
The #1 pathway to leadership growth
Throughout my nearly 50 year coaching career there is one question I ask that has generated the most productive leadership discussions. Here it is: “How many can think of a way to improve relationship and leadership growth that does not include improving our listening skills?” From the responses I have received from this question, I can only conclude that improving our listening skills is the best single thing we can do to strengthen relationships.
Yesterday I attended a visitation to pay my respects to a very special mentor who passed away earlier this month. His name was Joe. The funeral home was packed. In the memos, people talked about Joe’s caring and sense of humor. Most importantly, there were many who commented on what a sincere, empathetic listener Joe was. I remember when I talked to him he would focus on me and not get distracted. There was no tension in his eyes, and I could easily see that he was listening to understand rather than respond. It was such a great feeling. When we can listen as well as Joe, we can make people feel good about themselves and build strong trust.
Now would you like to know how good a listener you are? OK. When was the last time you received a compliment for being a good listener? Hmmm…
When good judgment beats old sayings…
We’ve all heard expressions like, “it is what it is” and “what goes around comes around”. Old sayings can help us in our thinking and actions. They can also hurt us and others. Here are a couple of my least favorite sayings: “It never hurts to ask” or “Ask and you shall receive”. These sound reasonable. If I am a sales professional, it is important that I ask for the order when the time is right instead of continuing to talk about the features of my product or service. Many salespeople struggle with closing.
Now let’s look at the other side of the coin: Has anyone asked you for something and your first thought was, “What nerve!” We get offended when we feel we are getting played or manipulated. So when do we ask or not ask? If what we are about to ask is appropriate, built on trust, and leads to a win-win situation, asking can be a good thing. If our motive is not noble, we may want to hold back. Whatever saying or maxim we tend to live by, let’s make sure we apply them unselfishly and with noble motives. That works!
Two magic words that are still magic
“Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
I remembering once hearing of a conversation between a worldwide traveler and person who was just starting to travel. The neophyte was going for a tour of Europe, and he asked the season traveler for his best advice. The reply was not complex. The travel pro said, “Just learn how to say “thank you” in every language you will encounter, and make sure to always say thank you.” Weeks later, the rookie traveler returned and said to the pro, “That was the best travel advice I have every received!” It reminds me of what we all learned in kindergarten: Say the magic words of “please” and “thank you”.
Last Thursday my wife and I decided to treat ourselves to dinner. We went to a local fast-casual restaurant that belonged to a chain with a reputation of friendly service. The person took our order. His face was expressionless. We paid up and shortly after he gave us our sandwiches with a “Here you go”. I was waiting for a “thank-you”, and there was silence. We quietly walked away with our food. It then began to occur to me that “please” and “thank you” are going out of fashion. That is sad. As customers, we choose to spend our money at certain places, and when we do, we help provide the capability of a business to issue paychecks. Thank you, anyone?
I also realized that recently I find myself saying “thank you” to someone who should be thanking me. It gets worse. When I do say thank you, I often hear, “No problem”. Really? I never thought of myself as a problem. I thought of myself as a customer.
Before the phrase thank you becomes extinct, I encourage you all to use this phrase wherever you go. Did someone do something nice for you today? Thank them. And thank you for ready this blog!
Being corporate without the “corporate feel”
If you own a business, and you overheard someone talking about your company, what words would you want to hear? I am guessing you would want people to say, “Nice play to work” or “Great customer service”, etc. What if someone said, “The working environment feels very corporate”. Such a comment probably would not excite you. The “corporate feel” doesn’t sell like it used to.
For nearly 50 years I have been a loyal follower of a local restaurant chain in Chicago. These restaurants were special places with a lively staff that knew how to have fun and make the dining experience special for you.
In the past few years, I have noticed these restaurants lose their luster. Orders get messed up, people stopped smiling, and things just weren’t the same. Three weeks ago my family and I had such a bad experience that we decided to end our 49-year old tradition. Before I made my final decision, I called customer service and told them of my experience. They promised to get back to me. They did not. It was time to move on. I wish I could say the incident three weeks ago was an isolated incident. It wasn’t. We’ve had several sub-par visits in the past two years. Last week I was relating this story to a stock broker, and he commented, “Oh yeah, that company was sold in 2014 and is now publicly traded.” The lively team spirit this chain of restaurants had built had died a slow death. They now had the “corporate feel”. Do you work for a large corporatation? What can you do to make sure your team has a “caring feel” versus a “corporate” one?
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