Posted: October 23, 2020 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Management, Presentation skills, Sales, Team Building

Charisma.  Every boss, professional athlete, politician, or PTA president seems to like that word.  We hear people say, “He or she has charisma.”  We have also heard someone say, “He or she has no charisma.” OK…so charisma is good…but what is it?

I toiled with this question for many years until one day 20 years ago.  I was reading a book by Barbara De Angelis, and she defined charisma as “paying attention”.  What a boring definition for such an energy noun!  In many ways, she was right:

Several years ago our family was on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.  We had two main servers when we dined:  Peter and Ozzie.  We liked them both.  Ozzie was a natural showman, and knew how to perform.  Peter was also engaging, but his demeanor was slightly more tempered.  Peter ended up being our favorite.  Afterwards, we tried to figure out why.  Our thoughts kept going back to Peter’s attentiveness.  He was the most genuine, and put his focus on others, being in tune to us as individuals.  He would sense needs, and respond with help.  It seemed his thoughts were so focused on helping others, he did not have time to say, “Look at me!”  We did anyway.  Peter had true charisma:  He was enthusiastic about his work, and he put his focus on serving others.  He put these two magic ingredients together.  So everyone…pay attention!

Posted: January 7, 2020 | Categories: Presentation skills, Sales, Self-Improvement

“You can get anything you want if you help enough other people get what they want”

–  Zig Ziglar

Mr. Ziglar shared his priceless secret.  As much sense as it makes, I still see so many folks trying to be persuasive by talking about what they want.  Sorry to burst your bubble…most people aren’t thinking about what you want:  They are thinking about what they want.

For example, many years ago I was working with a manager on her communication skills with her boss.  She wanted her boss to give her a raise, and when she approached him he wasn’t receptive.  We talked about her strategy, and changed it to a WIFM discussion.  (What’s in it for me?).  She talked in terms of what her boss wanted.  Here is what happened in her own words:

“On Tuesday of this week I met with my boss and asked for my promotion.  This has been a sore point for well over a year now, and this time I tried a different approach.  I laid out figures and talked about what he was interested in, and how I had helped meet some of his main corporate objectives,  Towards the end, he said, “Maybe it’s time we started paying you for the management job you are doing”.  It works! 

Some sales professionals need to learn from Barb.  Instead of saying, “I want to meet with you”, say something like, “I help people achieve more peace of mind with their financial future.  I may be able to do the same for you.  My goal in calling you is to set a time when we can get together, understand your situation and what you are looking to do, and see if we have some common ground.  Would you like to set a time?”

When selling yourself or your ideas, remember to talk in terms of the other person’s interest.  You will have more success!

Posted: September 9, 2019 | Categories: Leadership, Presentation skills, Self-Improvement

Many years ago, UCLA profession Albert Mehrabian did a study on communication, and found that a scant 7% of our effectiveness comes from words.  The remainder comes from our tone of voice and our body language.  That is nice to know, but let’s not forget the power or words.

Several months ago, I was facilitating a training session, and we were about to do some role playing.  I noticed a hesitant look on one of the participant’s face, and I asked if she had a question.  She replied, “No,  I just don’t do role playing.  I’m no good at it.  It doesn’t work for me.”  When I heard this, I knew I had to backtrack.  She doesn’t like role-playing and that means when she hears the term “role-playing” she shuts down.  Like all trainers, I want people to be engaged in the process .  I said, “let me put it another way.  We are going to practice the fundamentals we have just reviewed so that we increase our skill in applying them.”  Saying this worked better, and I got her back on board.  When I used the word “practice”, I was using a term that refers to a vital component in building any skill or increased ability.  I have replaced the term “role-playing” with “practice”, and this has worked well for me.

Do you have a word that doesn’t set well with you?  I think we all do.  I don’t like the word “compelling”.  All I need to do is tell you that, and you will probably use a substitute.  Now more than any other time I can recall in my 70 years,it is important to be sensitive with our word selection.  If we ruffle some feathers, find a word or phrase that lands better.  This will help you keep your listeners more in there with you.

Posted: July 30, 2018 | Categories: Leadership, Management, Presentation skills

You may have heard the story of how “Post-it” notes came about.  Many years ago, an employee for 3M was looking for ways to bookmark different areas of his bible so that he could make quick reference to his favorite parts.  He developed sticky paper that would come to be known as “Post-it” notes”.  And have you ever gotten a cockle burr stuck to your jeans?  That gave us the idea for Velcro.  Of course, all of these ideas had to be sold, and in order for that to happen, someone of influence had to listen.

Have you ever been excited about an idea that you just knew would improve your company?   Was there ever a situation where you tried to sell it and got totally shut down?  If so, you were probably frustrated or even demoralized.  Companies should not want this to happen.  To be innovative, we need idea fluency.  We need to present our idea in a way that gives us the greatest possibility of receptivity.  Here are some points to consider:

Establish credibility.  Be an “eager beaver”.  Do you work, do it fast, and do it well.  In addition, be the first to volunteer for other projects.  Do them fast and do them well. Results will follow, and you will be noticed and respected.  When you have an idea that you would like to sell, you will have a much more receptive audience.

Let the game come to you.  There are times when the best strategy is to let the momentum come from the other direction.  Your idea is probably designed to improve a situation or solve a problem.  In your team discussion, those subjects are likely to come up.  When they do, there is your opportunity…”Say…here’s a thought…”  The channel will be more open since your idea fits right into the discussion.

Be flexible.  One of my favorite ideas of all time turned out well because I listening to a critic who had a constructive suggestion regarding how to improve my idea.  I was glad I listened!

Ben Franklin once said, “If you don’t get what you want the first time you shop, you can always shop again”.   In business, I see too many ideas die before they launch.  Stay with it.  (My wife can give you lessons on this!)

Posted: September 1, 2017 | Categories: Presentation skills, Sales, Self-Improvement

How long do first impressions last? I get a variety of answers when I ask that question. I have heard some say that first impressions last forever. Let’s see if we can improve on that:

Experts tell us that when we meet someone for the first time, we form a first impression in 4 seconds. The good news is that this first impression, like quick-drying cement, is not solidified until 30 seconds have passed. That means we have 26 seconds to recover. Once that 30 seconds is up, the impression is locked in, and we now look for things to validate the impression.Read More…