Posted: April 8, 2025 | Categories: Presentation skills, Sales, Self-Improvement

“History has repeatedly been changed by people who had the desire and the ability to transfer their convictions and emotions to their listeners”   –Dale Carnegie

In my 40-year career of professional coaching, I have found the above statement by Dale Carnegie to be axiomatic.  When we can communicate effectively in front of a group, we are positioned to change history. Think of Abraham Lincoln or Martin Luther King.  Speaking in front of a group was a critical part of their success.

Here is the secret that my experience and history have shown: Those who have the most fear of public speaking and overcome this fear are often the best speakers.

There is more good news! If you have a deathly fear of public speaking and you want to get past this barrier, the rate of growth can be very rapid.  In a matter of months, you can become an excellent speaker.

Here is an example:  Several years ago I was approached by an eye doctor who was excited about some special research he had done regarding vision problems in young children. He found there was an acute need to discover vision problems early to prevent difficulty in learning and motor skills.  He wanted to get the word out so that affected children could better adjust to their schooling. After 12 weeks of working with him, the doctor went on a speaking tour, and a year later he was doing a series of lectures through Europe partially paid for by his speaking fees.  You may think this is an unusual case.  It is not.

If the fear of public speaking is holding you back like it was for this doctor, resolve yourself to take action by reading or enrolling in a class. You will be on your way to a new dimension in life, and who knows?  You may change history

Posted: April 17, 2024 | Categories: Presentation skills, Sales

A friend of mine is a marketing specialist.  We were talking about what makes businesses rise above the crowd and it brought to mind an experience I had 30 years ago when looking for a family photographer:

It was in the fall, and our family consisted of my wife and two boys, ages 6 & 8.  We wanted to have a picture of our family that we could enjoy in our den every day.  There were many vendors to choose from, and we were starting to get overwhelmed.  We were anxious to get something scheduled, and I decided to start asking the question, “What makes your work special?”  Some struggled with that question.  Then we met Jane and Jim, a couple who owned their own studio and seemed to love what they do.  To my question, they replied, “Other photographers take a picture of where you are at.  We take a picture of who you are”.  WOW!  That was just what we wanted!  Sold!

Jane and Jim did take our picture in a park setting among the colored fallen leaves.  We have this picture in our den and we enjoy it every day.  It is our favorite.

Jane and Jim were a part of a common profession.  Their work and the way they sold it was uncommon.  They were passionate about their work and they were able to communicate why.

Think of your product or service:  What do you do that makes you stand out above your competition?  How well do you  communicate it?  The loyalty and enthusiasm of our customers starts with us!

Posted: April 3, 2024 | Categories: Customer service, Presentation skills

As a customer, have you ever had an interaction from a company representative that left you with a “bad taste in your mouth”?  Something in the words, tone of voice, or body language didn’t set right with you, and you felt ourselves pulling away.  This type of situation can often be the beginning of the end to a good relationship.

I had such an experience at the beginning of this year.  It was New Year’s Day, and my wife and I decided to take a walk in a private nature preserve that we had been going to for nearly 50 years.  Not only is this a special place, we are dues-paying members.

Joyce and I had just completed a walk on one of the trails, and we were sitting in our car sipping coffee.  An official vehicle pulled up beside us, and the security agent motioned to me to roll down my window.  He said, “You can’t park here.  There is a special event planned.  Did you see the sign?”  No, we didn’t see the sign, and if we had, we wouldn’t be there.  We left.  Afterwards, I kept thinking of how we were approached.  What if he had begun in a more friendly way?  For example, he could have said, “Hello folks.  You two look like you been here before”.  We would  have replied saying about how long we had been coming here, and how much we love the place.  Next, the security person could have said, “As much as I hate to, I have to tell you we are having a special event here in 30 minutes, and this section is closed.  Here are the areas that are open.  I am sorry to interrupt your visit.”  If he had said this in a friendly way, we would have understood and been OK with it.  Because of his abrupt approach, he left us disappointed with our visit.

Here are the stats regarding why customers leave:

• 15%  Quality problems
• 15%  Price
• 70%  Disliked the human side of doing business with the previous product or service

Our membership renewal will come up in September.  Normally, I would not have given a second thought to staying a member.  Now, I am not so sure.  Here is the message:  When you have to confront, begin in a friendly way.  The person you are talking to will almost always be more friendly and understanding.

Posted: December 15, 2022 | Categories: Leadership, Presentation skills, Self-Improvement

Do we know what “charisma” is?  I thought I did until I heard the most boring definition of charisma I have ever heard.  The definition came in two words:  “Paying attention”.  That’s charisma?  After much pondering, I think the author was right.

A little over 30 years ago, I was visiting with the manager of a large hotel.  He was talking about his favorite all-time guest – President George H.W. Bush (Bush 41).  Jim (the hotel manager) knew President Bush loved tennis, and Jim had a custom racquet made just for the President.  (Racquets were made of wood in those days).  Jim presented the racquet to the President, and he was thrilled.  He immediately began carefully studying the racquet and took note of the details in workmanship and materials.  The President took the time to study the gift and appreciate all the effort that was put in to it.  How was the President able to do this?  Aren’t Presidents too busy?  Mr. Bush made the time to demonstrate the important value to him.  If you were to ask Jim if he thought President Bush had charisma, I am confident he would say yes…emphatically.

After I heard Jim tell this story, I reflected on some times when someone had done something special for me, and gone out of their way.  In particular, I thought of this old rocking chair I sat in as a toddler.  My brother-in-law, Ron had done a beautiful job refinishing the chair and surprised me with it during a visit to his home.  At first, I didn’t recognize the chair, and then it all came to mind.  Even though I thanked Ron for the gift, I could have spent much more time looking it over and commenting on his special work.  I regret that I did not.

Here is my advice.  If you are given something special that someone put their heart and soul in to, SLOW DOWN!.  Pat attention. Take the time.  You’ll be glad you did.  That’s charisma!

Posted: November 8, 2022 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Presentation skills, Team Building

A couple weeks ago a client requested that I write a blog on “tone of voice”.  I liked the idea.  How many relationships or business deals suffer because of our tone of voice?  Our tone can convey joy, frustration, impatience, condescension, and sometimes hostility.  With all that said, how do we maintain better control over the tenor of what we say?  It may start with the quality of our thinking.  Here’s an example:

Last summer I went to start our tractor mower, and discovered the lightshad be left on and the battery was dead.  I immediately realized what happened.  My wife was the last one to mow the lawn,  and when she turned the mower off, she left the lights on.  I decided to stop and tell Joyce what had happened.  When I told her I would tell she was a little hurt.  I quickly figured out that she resented my tone.  She thought I sounded condescending.  She was right.  That’s because as I spoke I was thinking it was a pretty dumb thing to do.  That is what I was thinking, and my attitude leaked into my tone of voice.  It almost always does for all of us, and when this happens, it affects how our message comes across.

As I thought about what I had just said and how I said it, I took a step back and did some reflecting.  I realized that I had not properly instructed Joyce on how to turn off the mower.  I apologized and got myself back on track.

In his book, “The Magic of Thinking Big”, David J. Schwartz talks about “Thinking right about people”.  When we are thinkng right about others, we can improve our tone, and also our communication effectivenes.