Posted: June 21, 2023 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Networking, Sales, Self-Improvement

Throughout my nearly 50 year coaching career there is one question I ask that has generated the most productive leadership discussions.  Here it is:  “How many can think of a way to improve relationship and leadership growth that does not include improving our listening skills?”  From the responses I have received from this question, I can only conclude that improving our listening skills is the best single thing we can do to strengthen relationships.

Yesterday I attended a visitation to pay my respects to a very special mentor who passed away earlier this month.  His name was Joe.  The funeral home was packed.  In the memos, people talked about Joe’s caring and sense of humor.  Most importantly, there were many who commented on what a sincere, empathetic listener Joe was.  I remember when I talked to him he would focus on me and not get distracted.  There was no tension in his eyes, and I could easily see that he was listening to understand rather than respond.  It was such a great feeling.  When we can listen as well as Joe, we can make people feel good about themselves and build strong trust.

Now would you like to know how good a listener you are?  OK.  When was the last time you received a compliment for being a good listener?  Hmmm…

Posted: May 18, 2023 | Categories: Leadership, Management, Team Building

Turnover is costly. Is that an understatement? How many times have we seen a treasured team member give their surprise two-week notice? In each case it is unlikely that the person leaving decided to do so that day.

Now let me ask you a question: Do you change the oil in your car regularly? Why? Your car is probably working fine.  Why bother? It is called preventive maintenance. We value our car and want to keep it properly maintained for a long life.

How about our team members? What do we do to stay in step with them so they don’t give us a farewell? Here is a recommendation from Richard Finnegan, a consultant specializing in engagement and retention. In his book, “The Stay Interview”, he recommends we conduct one-on-one “stay interviews” at regular intervals with our staff members. Here are the five questions he recommends:

1. When you come to work each day, what things do you look forward to?
2. What are you learning here?
3. Why do you stay here?
4. When was the last time you thought about leaving our team?  What prompted it?
5. What can I do to make your experience at work better for you?

If we can do these interviews we can greatly reduce the frequency of those “surprise” resignations. Let’s practice good, regular, preventive maintenance with our team!

Posted: April 19, 2023 | Categories: Leadership, Self-Improvement

“Insincerity is shallow and selfish.  It ought to fail and it usually does” 

– Dale Carnegie

I remember reading the above quote over 40 years ago and it remains embedded in my mind.  Insincerity is like counterfeit money:  Eventually you will get busted.

Have you known someone who always starts a conversation asking questions about you and your family?  You probably have.  We enjoy it when others show a genuine interest in us and remember what we have told them.  That is the operative word…GENUINE.  Here is what I mean:

Last week a friend of mine received a call from someone she had not spoken with for many months.  The conversation started off well, and the friend asked about grandkids.  Jill answered by saying that she babysat for her grandkids on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, and also Sunday afternoons.  Jill’s friend replied, “Oh how nice!”, and then moved on to other topics.  About 10 minutes into the conversation the friend asked, “So do you get a chance to see your grandkids often?”  Jill was stunned.  She had already answered that question earlier and it was apparent her friend had not been listening.  Good listening builds trust.  Lousy listening erodes it.

If you have found yourself making the same mistake that Jill’s friend did, it doesn’t mean you are an insincere person.  I must confess I can think of times when I let myself get distracted and made a similar error.  When I did, I felt like a “penny waiting for change”.  and I apologized for my failure to listen.

The lesson is this:  When we ask questions to find out how others are doing, we LISTEN.  It builds trust and gives us a perfect conversation starter for the next time.  Others will appreciate our genuine and sincere interest in them.

Posted: April 10, 2023 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Sales

“Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices”

–Ralph Waldo Emerson

I remembering once hearing of a conversation between a worldwide traveler and person who was just starting to travel.  The neophyte was going for a tour of Europe, and he asked the season traveler for his best advice.  The reply was not complex.  The travel pro said, “Just learn how to say “thank you” in every language you will encounter, and make sure to always say thank you.”  Weeks later, the rookie traveler returned and said to the pro, “That was the best travel advice I have every received!”  It reminds me of  what we all learned in kindergarten:   Say the magic words of “please” and “thank you”.

Last Thursday my wife and I decided to treat ourselves to dinner.  We went to a local fast-casual restaurant that belonged to a chain with a reputation of friendly service.  The person took our order.  His face was expressionless.  We paid up and shortly after he gave us our sandwiches with a “Here you go”.  I was waiting for a “thank-you”, and there was silence.  We quietly walked away with our food. It then began to occur to me that “please” and “thank you” are going out of fashion.  That is sad.  As customers, we choose to spend our money at certain places, and when we do, we help provide the capability of a business to issue paychecks.  Thank you, anyone?

I also realized that recently I find myself saying “thank you” to someone who should be thanking me.  It gets worse.  When I do say thank you, I often hear, “No problem”.  Really?  I never thought of myself as a problem.  I thought of myself as a customer.

Before the phrase thank you becomes extinct, I encourage you all to use this phrase wherever you go.  Did someone do something nice for you today?  Thank them.  And thank you for ready this blog!

Posted: March 9, 2023 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Self-Improvement

I have been in managing and coaching for nearly 50 years, and I find myself often reflecting on what I have learned.  One of the most important lessons life has taught me is that I can’t change people.  I actually used to think I could.  I was wrong.  What we can do is be a positive influence and also teach others how we would like to be treated.  We have all known others who have been a positive influence on us.

I remember years ago I was standing in a short line in the service department of an auto dealer.  When it was my turn, I began to explain to the advisor the symptoms I was experiencing with my car.  He seemed to be impatient and dismissive.  Sensing this attitude, I paused and said, “I may be reading you all wrong, and if I am I apoligize.  I just get the feeling that you don’t really care about my problem and aren’t that interested in helping.  Am I interpreting you correctly?” I said it politely, and there were two others in line behind me.  The advisor immediately changed his tune, and got in step with me.  Soon my problem was diagnosed and solved.  Did I change this person’s attitude?  Probably not.  If that happened, fine.  My goal was to teach him how I wanted to be treated.  My first thought was to get mad and snap at him.  Instead I got ahold of my attitude and asked a question.  Even though there may be many people we would like to change in this world (and I’ll bet they want to change us!).  Before we try that, we can start first by teaching others how we would like to be treated.