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Category: Leadership
Understand, remove barriers, move forward
“Seek first to understand” – Stephen Covey
The above quote is from the late self-help author and trainer Stephen Covey. This vital piece of the Golden Rule can serve us royally:
Two days ago I experienced a touching example of this powerful principle. My wife and I were visiting our son and grandson. Little 3-year old Levi was not having a good day. He was cranky, defiant, and exhibiting unpleasant behavior. Normally, he is cheerful and happy. That night my son went through his normal routine of reading Levi a story and putting him to bed. At around 3am, my son was awakened by Levi. He was standing right next to David. For the first time, Levi had crawled out of his crib. A whole new era began!
The next morning Levi and his Dad worked together to convert his crib into a bed. Then Levi asked his Dad, “Does this mean I can’t be your son anymore?” WOW! That is a show stopper. Now we could see why his behavior was so conflicted. He knew he needed to give up his crib, but he didn’t want to give up his Dad with it. A warm, quality conversation followed, and Levi, his attitude, and behavior were back on track.
As I reflected on this story, I realized that, even though we are not 3 years old, we can relate to Levi. When we know we need to move forward and undergo change, it can create an inner conflict. If the source of this conflict is not discovered, hurt and misunderstanding can occur. Seek first to understand. When we do, barriers are removed, trust is strengthened, and we move forward!
Strong coaching includes managing pushback
“My name is Lisl, I’m 16, and I don’t need a governess!”
Movie: “Sound of Music”
Have you ever tried to help someone, and the person you are trying to help totally rejected you? Did you think you were wasting your time? In some cases, maybe you weren’t.
Many years ago I learned a lesson that I have never forgotten. I was facilitating a 12-week leadership class, and it was session one. We started by putting the spotlight on one class member at a time. The goal was for each person to introduce themselves and explain what they wanted to gain from the training. Things were going fine until Gordon came up. He said, “My name is Gordon Evans. I was ordered by my boss to be here, and my goal is to get this class over with so I can keep my job.” Hmmm…, I thought. I like to meet people where they are at and Gordon was giving me ample opportunity to do that.
I decided to give Gordon his space for the first 3 weeks. To his credit, he showed up for each class prepared. Gradually, I began to break the ice…patiently. I felt I was making incremental progress. Then came week six, and he had a major breakthrough. From that point on in the training, he was locked in, learning and growing as much as anyone in the class.
Six months after graduation, I received a call from Gordon. He had received a promotion and was now in New Jersey. He called to tell me a great success story he had that was a direct result of applying something he had learned in class. I asked, “So you did enjoy the class after all?” He replied, “No, I hated it. I just thought you would want to hear this story.” A smile came to my face. Lesson learned: If you really care and try to help someone, stay in there with them. Your persistence can pay off in a wonderful way.
Understanding Generation “X”
Were you born between 1965 – 1980? If not, you quite likely have worked with someone born in that time frame. It is called Generation “X”.
Last week I was clearing out some old files and I came across some notes I had scribbled down in the fall of 1997. The notes pertained to things we should know when working with the Gen X-er’s. To my surprise, the recommendations and bits of wisdom were the same as what I read in an article last month. Here is what we now know is important when working with Generation “X”:
- Every job is temporary. Every organization is a means to something better.
- As a “latch key” generation, these folks are not comfortable being closely supervised. They are remarkably competent working on their own..YET…
- They crave time with their supervisors and need continual feedback on their performance.
When we put all these pieces together, the second and third points seem contradictory. They want to be on their own, and they also want their bosses in there with them. Bottom line: If we work with Gen X-er’s, we need to make sure we give them latitude while at the same time be in there with them side-by-side giving sufficient acknowledgement and reinforcement.
Make managing a two-way street
“Don’t say yes until I’m finished talking…”
-Daryl Zanuck
Have you heard the term “managing up”? It means that even though bosses manage us, sometimes we need to manage the boss. There are so many inspiring examples of positive change occurring when subordinates respectfully disagree with the boss. I have a favourite example to demonstrate:
In the early 1990’s I was doing teamwork training with a thriving international manufacturing company. I was instructing a class that focused on communication and leadership skills. The company had sent all their managers and supervisors through the training – all except the company owner, Ben. One day after class, one of the class participants took me aside and asked, “Why hasn’t our boss (Ben) taken the training?” I replied that I had asked Ben many times to enroll, and he would just smile and change the subject. Steve then said, “Well I think he should take the class. He could benefit from it.” Of course, I agreed. Steve said he was going to talk to Ben about it.
Several days later, I received a call from Ben, the owner. He said, “I am calling from my office and Steve has me in a headlock and says he won’t let go until I sign up for your course. I am calling to sign up.”
Ben did take the course and thought it was great. The people who surrounded him also said he was easier to work for. Thanks to Steve’s courage and caring for the company, he helped create a stronger team.
I had been instructing the course for three years, and in that time frame many had asked why Ben did not take the course. Steve asked, and he acted. In his conversation with Ben, he was respectful and approached Ben with tact. Steve knew how to “manage up”. Do you?
How do you motivate Millennials to management positions?
Alright. I’ve put this subject off for too long. It is time to pull back the curtain and explore why Millennials and Gen Z folks are reluctant to take a management position. Here we go:
- Lack of trust in senior leadership
- Limited financial rewards
- Work-life balance
- Time off
OK. There is the “why?” What can we do about it? Unless we can do all the work ourselves, we need good managers to maintain a healthy, profitable business. In addressing the “how?”, I decided to interview two experts on the subject. They are my two sons age 36 and 38. They are both married, have a family, and are in a management position with direct reports. I ask them if they agreed with the statement that most Millennials did not want a management job. They did. I then asked why. They said they didn’t know! I wasn’t satisfied with that answer, so I went deep with my questions. Here is what I found:
Integrity: When working with a Millennial, your word must be your bond. Do what you say you will do and honor your deadlines. Otherwise, you will lose trust.
Show genuine interest: Being aloof or detached will cost you. Be in there with them. Know about their hobbies and birthdays. Watch their body language and develop a sense of knowing when something is wrong. Address the matter quickly.
Make sure the person understands what they are “getting in to” and that they want it and possess the capability. Otherwise, disillusionment may set in.
Be sensitive to their work-life balance. If you need them to work extra hours, explain why and do your best not to make it a habit.
Many Millennials have seen their parents work long hours, be treated unfairly, and experience a parent getting laid off from a company they were loyal to and worked hard for. The good news is, if you show a genuine interest and act with integrity, Millennials can be excellent managers.
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