Posted: September 9, 2019 | Categories: Leadership, Presentation skills, Self-Improvement

Many years ago, UCLA profession Albert Mehrabian did a study on communication, and found that a scant 7% of our effectiveness comes from words.  The remainder comes from our tone of voice and our body language.  That is nice to know, but let’s not forget the power or words.

Several months ago, I was facilitating a training session, and we were about to do some role playing.  I noticed a hesitant look on one of the participant’s face, and I asked if she had a question.  She replied, “No,  I just don’t do role playing.  I’m no good at it.  It doesn’t work for me.”  When I heard this, I knew I had to backtrack.  She doesn’t like role-playing and that means when she hears the term “role-playing” she shuts down.  Like all trainers, I want people to be engaged in the process .  I said, “let me put it another way.  We are going to practice the fundamentals we have just reviewed so that we increase our skill in applying them.”  Saying this worked better, and I got her back on board.  When I used the word “practice”, I was using a term that refers to a vital component in building any skill or increased ability.  I have replaced the term “role-playing” with “practice”, and this has worked well for me.

Do you have a word that doesn’t set well with you?  I think we all do.  I don’t like the word “compelling”.  All I need to do is tell you that, and you will probably use a substitute.  Now more than any other time I can recall in my 70 years,it is important to be sensitive with our word selection.  If we ruffle some feathers, find a word or phrase that lands better.  This will help you keep your listeners more in there with you.

Posted: August 21, 2019 | Categories: Leadership, Management, Team Building

I’ve always been told that repetition is one of the ways we learn.  If we are playing a musical instrument or learning a new skill, repetition makes sense.  Then there are other times when repetition does not work.  Have you ever found yourself having the same conversation over and over again with someone you are trying to correct or re-direct?  I’ll bet you have.  How do we break the cycle and solve the problem?  I will illustrate with a personal example:

In the summer of 1974, I was the manager of a hotel in a Chicago suburb.  My boss lived in Denver, and Mr. V would come in to check up on things about every six weeks.  He always had a list of things he wanted me to work on.  Some things I enjoyed, some I did not.  As time went on, it seemed like the stuff I didn’t like doing never got done.  Mr V. and I kept having the same conversation.  Then, one day, he broke the pattern.  I’ll never forget what he said, “Steve, what can I do to get you going on this?”  Whoa!  I’m tuned in.  The time for excuses was over.  I needed to execute.  I did, and we enjoyed a long working relationships that lasted for another 10 years.  He also promoted me to manage some of his other properties.

What happened in this conversation?  Mr. V shifted gears.  Before, he was focusing on the specific situation of what didn’t get done.  In our capstone conversation, he instead called attention to the “pattern” I had established, and let me know that this pattern needed to change…immediately!

Do you have a team member who just can’t seem to “get with the program”?  Once they established an unproductive pattern, address the pattern, not the incident.  Throw it right back to him or her like Mr. V did.  It will be tough.  We also know that the best coaches and teachers in our lives always challenged us.  We can do the same.

Posted: August 11, 2019 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Networking, Sales, Self-Improvement, Team Building

“The expression one wears on one’s face is far more important that the clothes one wears on one’s back”

– Dale Carnegie

Today I was reminded of an important principle in building team trust:  One of my friends mentioned that she had taken a picture of a colleague in a meeting while he was looking at his smart phone.  The expression on his face was not radiant.

In building strong team trust, approachability is critically important.  Our team members must be comfortable approaching us with questions, ideas, and genuine concerns.  If the “at-rest” expression on our face is stern or  intense, many will avoid us.  This leads to a weaker team.

Many years ago I was coaching a business owner who talked about his most significant growth as a leader.  A friend commented about the normal expression on his face.  He said, “You look mean.”  Carl was smart enough to realize that if he had a mad countenance, many of his team would hesitate to approach him.  That day, Carl decided he would develop the habit of having an approachable expression as much as possible.

Carl got to work.  It was tough.  He claimed it was nearly 2 years before the sparkle on his face became a habit.  Carl said the effects his efforts on teamwork and productivity were immeasurable.

I realize there are times when we will not have a sparkling expression on our face.  We may be in a serious or intense conversation and we want our facial expression to match our message.  The objective is, whenever possible and appropriate, always have a friendly expression on our face.  This builds trust and leads to stronger relationships.

Posted: June 25, 2019 | Categories: Leadership, Team Building

Effective bosses communicate early and often.  When I am coaching managers and owners on their communication skills, we often talk about classifying the type of communication you wish to have.  The four main categories are: Sell, tell, join, and consult.  If we are selling, we need buy-in.  If we are telling, we are delivering a message with a non-negotiable directive.  When we join, we agree to support a team member on an idea or project they have generated.  When we consult, we are seeking input and ideas regarding a possible course of action.

I believe that the “tell” situation is the most challenging.  Most people do not want to appear harsh, and telling means you are really saying, “This is the way it is…no exceptions”.  Here is an example:

In my early 20’s, I began my career in hotel management.  I moved around a lot, and one time I took management of a hotel that had a weekly payroll.  No, we didn’t have a payroll service, and I also did not have a calculator.  (This was in the early 70’s, and calculators were way too expensive).  This meant that doing the weekly payroll took a half a day a week – way too much time.  I decided we would change to a bi-weekly payroll schedule.  I did not even attempt to sell this idea.  It is funny about the word money:  Although not synonyms, “sooner” and “now” seem to be first cousins.  I knew the staff wouldn’t be happy.  I told them about the change.  The announcement came in July, but the new procedure would not begin until January 1st.  I wanted to give them time to adjust to the change.  They were not thrilled, but they understood.  If I had told them in a wishy-washy way like, “Hey, what do you think?”, I would have lost trust, because they would have soon found out that what they thought would not change things.  This was a “tell”.  My point to you: If you have to give a “tell” to your team, don’t disguise it.  Be clear, and realize that there are things we need to say and others need to hear, and we cannot expect people to always be smiling when we give them the “tell” news.

Posted: May 29, 2019 | Categories: Leadership, Team Building

In the spring of 1998 I became an “instant” volunteer to coach a little league team of 9 and 10-year old’s.  My son was on the team, and the coach from the previous year did not return.  Since I had been his assistant coach, I needed to take the job of head coach, or let the team disassemble.  I chose to take the job.

My first challenge was to define my objectives.  The first thing I did was meet with the parents.  I said, “I know some of you are very competitive and love to win.  Others simply want their boys to learn something and have fun.  I want you all to know that we will do both:  Have fun…and win!”

Next came my strategy:  How were we going to dominate our competition?  My strategy was simple.  No walks.  If you wanted to score a run on our team, you had to earn it.  As a result, I enlisted the help of some talented parents and their boys, and we practiced the fundamentals of simply pitching the ball over the plate.  I knew if we could do this. we would have a solid season.  We did.  We went 12-3.  The three games we lost were by less than two runs, and in each case, the teams had to “hit” their way to victory rather than drawing walks.

What I applied here is the same thing all of us must do to make our businesses successful.  We can ask ourselves these questions:

1. What can our team do that is unique and special?
2. Of all the things we can do special, which ones are most critical to our customers?
3. Which ones are currently not being delivered well?
4. How can we work out a strategy to fill this gap?

Once we have done this, go for it!  Make an all-out commitment to deliver that most important thing that is missing and important.  Do it with excellence.  We will build strong trust and loyalty.