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Category: Leadership
Respected leaders admit when they are wrong
I have two sons who are now married and in their mid-30’s. Growing up, they loved to play baseball in the back yard. One day I was coaching my son, Kevin as he was working on his batting skills. I was frustrated that he wasn’t doing something right, and I made a comment that was not supportive. As soon as I did, Kevin had a puzzled look on his face and asked, “Dad, was that a put-down?” My first instinct was to respond, “Oh no, I just…(blah, blah, blah)”. Instead, I paused, reflected on what I had just said, and replied, “Yes, Kevin. That was a put-down and I was wrong to do that. I am sorry”. When I said that, I could feel the tension leave my body, and Kevin and I were back on track.
To be clear, when I say “put-down”, I do not mean we don’t ever re-direct someone. A strong team strives for excellence, and each team member knows how to keep one another accountable. For example, let’s say I am playing baseball in the outfield and not paying attention. As a result, I mess up a play. My team members have every right to say, “Hey Brainerd, wake-up!”
Throughout the holidays you may be with many friends and relatives. You will also be with your team members at work. Whatever your situation, when you are tempted to find fault, take a step back and pause. If something needs to be said, say it in a way that builds trust and respect, not resentment.
When confrontation is unavoidable
If you are the owner or manager of a business, the past 8 months have probably been extra stressful. One of the most abrupt changes we have all had to deal with is wearing protective masks. Some people like them, others put up with them, and the rest despise them. Many times, those who are resistant to the mask rule are not the most compliant. When someone is defying the rule, we need to confront them. If we don’t handle this confrontation well, we can create ill-will and resentment. That is not good for productivity or turnover. Here is an example of an instance where a boss needed to approach an employee about wearing their mask:
Susan is a lively, gregarious team member with a beautiful smile. She hates wearing masks, so she decided to take hers off for a while. Wouldn’t you know it? The boss walked by. He was upset, and approached her in a not-so-friendly manner. Susan was hurt and resentful.
The next day the boss noticed the difference in Susan’s mood and countenance. He called her into his office. The first thing he did was apologize for the way he had approached her the day before. Next, he showed empathy by saying, “These masks are awful!” She sure agreeded with that. The boss then went on to state the rule that he was obligated to enforce, and asked for her compliance. She gave him her full compliance, and now wears the mask when she should. The problem is solved. My message to you is to remember the old saying, “approach in a friendly way” and do your best to understand the other person’s point of view. It can increase team productivity and reduce turnover.
The power of learning and remembering tough names
Who is Coach “K”? If you said “Duke University basketball coach”, you are correct. For extra credit, what does the “K” stand for? Answer: Krzyzewski (pronounced “sha-chef-ski”)
Dale Carnegie once said, “A person’s name is the sweetest sound in any language”. If that is so, it is important we learn people’s names and remember them, even if they are difficult names to spell and pronounce. In my 40 years of leadership training and coaching, I have found that people who put great effort towards remembering names are well respected. Here is an example of how powerful this can be:
Yesterday I went to the hospital to give a blood sample for my rheumatologist. As I was registering, I said, “I am here to give a blood sample. If is for Dr. Geevarghese. (Pronounced “Gee-var-geese”). When I said that, the receptionist and her assistant stopped and stared with their mouths open. Then one of them said, “This is the first time someone has said the doctor’s full name and procounced it correctly. Everyone says “Dr. G”
It is my assumption that Alex Geevarghese is just as proud of his name as someone named John Smith. With that in mind, I make my best effort to remember names. I find that doing so shows respect and helps build trust.
If this sounds trivial, here’s another example for you: A few years ago I was coaching someone who worked with people from the country of Laos. The name of one of his co-workers was extremely long with many syllables. None of this person’s co-workers knew how to pronounce his name. It was too much work. They just called him “Nick”. My client was determined to learn Nick’s name, and he did The next time he saw Nick, he said, “Hello _____ _______” Tears came to the man’s eyes, and he said, “You are the only person here who has taken the time to learn my name. Thank you so much” Lesson learned: We need to make a full effort to learn and use names – even if it is challenging. Take the challenge!
What is charisma?
Charisma. Every boss, professional athlete, politician, or PTA president seems to like that word. We hear people say, “He or she has charisma.” We have also heard someone say, “He or she has no charisma.” OK…so charisma is good…but what is it?
I toiled with this question for many years until one day 20 years ago. I was reading a book by Barbara De Angelis, and she defined charisma as “paying attention”. What a boring definition for such an energy noun! In many ways, she was right:
Several years ago our family was on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. We had two main servers when we dined: Peter and Ozzie. We liked them both. Ozzie was a natural showman, and knew how to perform. Peter was also engaging, but his demeanor was slightly more tempered. Peter ended up being our favorite. Afterwards, we tried to figure out why. Our thoughts kept going back to Peter’s attentiveness. He was the most genuine, and put his focus on others, being in tune to us as individuals. He would sense needs, and respond with help. It seemed his thoughts were so focused on helping others, he did not have time to say, “Look at me!” We did anyway. Peter had true charisma: He was enthusiastic about his work, and he put his focus on serving others. He put these two magic ingredients together. So everyone…pay attention!
Why layoffs should be the last resort
You may have heard the expression, “Don’t throw away the baby with the bath water”. This is a saying we may want to keep in mind when considering layoffs during this Covid-19 crisis. If we are at this crossroad, here is an example we may want to keep in mind.
In their 50-year history, Southwest Airlines has never laid off a single employee. Remarkably, they have also made a profit for 46 years in a row. When Southwest faces an industry-wide crisis, layoffs are the last thing they do. For many companies, it is the first action taken to cut expenses. Who is right? That is a judgment call. If we want to operate a business that makes a profit for 46 straight years, maybe we should tune in to Southwest’s philosophy about layoffs. Here they are, as outlined in a Business Week article in October of 2001:
Consequences of layoffs:
- Severance and rehiring costs
- Potential lawsuits from aggrieved workers
- Loss of institutional memory and trust in management
- Lack of staffers when the economy rebounds
- Survivors who are risk-averse, paranoid, and political
Benefits of not laying people off:
- A fiercely loyal, more productive workforce
- Higher customer satisfaction
- Readiness to snap back with the economy
- A recruiting edge
- Workers who aren’t afraid to innovate, knowing their jobs are safe.
As illustrated in these bullet points, if we are considering layoffs, this situation should be carefully weighed so that we don’t look back and say “OOPS!”