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Bullying: It’s not just for kids
If you are a parent, there usually comes a moment when your child needs to deal with a bully. I also believe that adults in the workplace must sometimes deal with a bully. According to the dictionary, a bully is, “A person who habitually seeks to harm or intimidate those who they perceive as vulnerable.” In other words, a bully is a coward, and they enjoy picking on someone who lets them. Please note the word enjoy.
I can truly say that I cannot recall allowing myself to be bullied in my childhood or adult life. Many have tried. I learned a valuable lesson early: Bullies like to bully, but only if it is a pleasant experience for them. My commitment was to make sure any bully who tried to pick on me would find the experience unpleasant and not worth repeating. We don’t need to be Chuck Norris, we just need to make sure that bullying us is not a pleasant experience
In adult life we can also be bullied. When someone says something mean to us, we can take a time out with that person and say, “You just said _______. I am not exactly sure what you meant by that. Please elaborate” I would politely and respectfully put them on the spot rather than absorb the hit. They soon got the message that bullying me was not going to be an experience worth repeating.
Many years ago, I was talking with a player on the Chicago Bears, and he mentioned he often had to face Walter Peyton in scrimmage. He said he dreaded having to tackle Walter Peyton. I said, “Gee, I thought he was a nice guy”. The player said, “He is. It just hurts to tackle him.” Tackling Walter Peyton was like trying to stop a ton of bricks. It wasn’t an experience you would want to repeat.
You may be a victim of bullying in the workplace or you may know someone who is. If so, do your best within good reason to make the bully not want to try again.