Posted: November 8, 2022 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Presentation skills, Team Building

A couple weeks ago a client requested that I write a blog on “tone of voice”.  I liked the idea.  How many relationships or business deals suffer because of our tone of voice?  Our tone can convey joy, frustration, impatience, condescension, and sometimes hostility.  With all that said, how do we maintain better control over the tenor of what we say?  It may start with the quality of our thinking.  Here’s an example:

Last summer I went to start our tractor mower, and discovered the lightshad be left on and the battery was dead.  I immediately realized what happened.  My wife was the last one to mow the lawn,  and when she turned the mower off, she left the lights on.  I decided to stop and tell Joyce what had happened.  When I told her I would tell she was a little hurt.  I quickly figured out that she resented my tone.  She thought I sounded condescending.  She was right.  That’s because as I spoke I was thinking it was a pretty dumb thing to do.  That is what I was thinking, and my attitude leaked into my tone of voice.  It almost always does for all of us, and when this happens, it affects how our message comes across.

As I thought about what I had just said and how I said it, I took a step back and did some reflecting.  I realized that I had not properly instructed Joyce on how to turn off the mower.  I apologized and got myself back on track.

In his book, “The Magic of Thinking Big”, David J. Schwartz talks about “Thinking right about people”.  When we are thinkng right about others, we can improve our tone, and also our communication effectivenes.

Posted: October 21, 2022 | Categories: Customer service, Presentation skills, Sales

When I was a senior in high school, my sociology class conducted a group discussion.  The question was:  “Do clothes make the man?”  I had no idea what the teacher meant.  How ridiculous!  Clothes don’t make the man…Character does!  What that doesn’t take into account is first impressions.  How long do first impressions last?  Sometimes forever.  How quick do we form first impressions?  Answer:  About 30 seconds.

With all these points rattling in my mind, I decided to do an experiment:  It was about 30 years ago, and I was on a business trip in Springfield, Illinois.  I was calling on some key clients and I was looking my best.  I wore my favorite suit, my hair was well groomed, and I stopped at a fast food restaurant for a sandwich.  I received a smile and a warm greeting from the person who took my order.

The next day as I was preparing to leave town, I intentionally put on grubby clothes -very grubby!  I wore a threadbare flannel shirt and old torn blue jeans.  I also hadn’t bothered to come my hair.  I approached the same fast food restaurant I had the day before and ended up with the same person.  When I walked up she did not smile and asked in a monotone, “Can I help you?”  When she brought back my order she just handed me the tray and said nothing.  Didn’t she recognize me?  Apparently not.

This experience taught me the power of making a good 1st impression.  Comb your hair, shine your shoes, and look your best.  You will help establish instant credibility and make a better first impression.

Posted: October 20, 2022 | Categories: Leadership, Management

Several years ago my wife and I were facing a tough situation.  Joyce’s mother was in a nursing home in failing health.  We informed the nursing home staff that we no longer wanted Edith taken to the Emergency Room every time something went wrong.  She was ready for hospice.

About a week later we got a call from the nursing home and they informed us she had been sent to the ER due to complications from diabetes.  We were surprised and dismayed that the nursing home had disregarded our instructions.  Even the nurse at the hospital asked, “What are you doing to this woman?”

We called the doctor and asked why she had been sent to the hospital.  The doctor replied that he was following protocol.  He then said, “Look, I need some direction here.”  We replied, “We want her placed in hospice care.”  The doctor said OK, and soon all athe arrangements had been made.

Edith spent the remaining 30 days of her life under hospice care.  The hospice nurses were able to get anything they needed from the doctor with no pushback.

As I reflect back on this experience, the words, “I need some direction” linger on my mind.  If we are not clear on what is expected from us, ask questions until we are absolutely clear in our understanding.  Things will move forward, and expectations are more likely to be met.

Posted: September 15, 2022 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Self-Improvement, Team Building

In my post on September 13th, I talked about how we can prevent gossip by speaking up and confronting situations directly.  But wait a minute…What if we try to speak up and it ends up in a vicious argument?  We don’t want that.

To create and facilitate a quality conversation that solves problems, builds trust and prevents resentment, here are some points to keep in mind:

1. What is your trust level with this person?  If we don’t like or respect them, we can bet our attitude about them will leak.  (Attitudes almost always do)
2. Begin in a friendly way.  Assuming we do have adequate trust established, we should begin in a friendly manner.  In other words, don’t start out saying, “I have a bone to pick with you!”
3. Relate the fact.  Without judgment, relate the fact of what the other person did or didn’t do.  Then gently describe the effects this action had on you and your ability to do your job.
4. Ask them for a solution.  Instead of dictating, give the other person a chance to take ownership.  Ask them for ideas.  Listen, ask questions, and respond.
5. Come to a consensus.  Decide on solution and make sure you both agree.
6. Reassure.  Give reassurance that you are good with the solution and the problem is solved.  Agree to put the situation behind you, and move forward!

No matter how hard we try, we are going to do things that create a burden for someone else.  When we do, imagine how much smoother things will go if we approach in the way outlined above.

Posted: September 13, 2022 | Categories: Customer service, Leadership, Team Building

Yes,  you read it right!  I said “eliminate”.

A few years ago I was working with a manufacturing team that wanted to be more productive.  The first step was to have each participant do a self-assessment to help identify their personality and communication style.  One of the team members was classified in the “Mediator” category.  People in this group tend to be strong on harmony.  “Let’s get along” is their motto.  Richard, the business owner commented that he wished he had a whole team of “mediators”.  “No, you don’t”, I replied.  Why?

A Mediator wants to see everyone work together and get along.  What’s the “flipside”?  Mediators are usually very uncomfortable with conflict.  There are times when we feel betrayed or simply disagree.  If we don’t speak up, we can become frustrated and internalize our feelings.  Unfortunately, doing this usually leads to us talking to someone else about our concern rather the person we should be talking to.  This often leads to gossip, and gossip is not good for teamwork.

We all know the signs:  When lunch break comes, certain clusters go off to another room.  You know when your name is discussed because everyone gets quiet when you approach.

What do we do?  Break the pattern.  If someone has done or said something that has made it more difficult for you to do your job, speak up!  Approach the person in a friendly way.  Focus on the problem not the personality.  Refrain from being judgmental.  Relate the incident and how it affects your work.  Seek common ground.  In doing so, you will take an action step in creating a more positive working environment.