Now it is time to explore the 3rd style of communication – the mediator. If all the world were completely of this style, there probably wouldn’t be any wars. I doubt that hockey or football would have ever been invented either. Those who are of the mediator style tend to be gentle, subtle, indirect, and inclusive. They seek to understand others and built bridges of good will. They are well-liked and seldom “ruffle feathers”. Rooting for the underdog comes naturally to the mediator because of their innate compassion. They show appreciation and are creative with lots of ideas, and do so with a “laugh-at’life” sense of humor. Unlike the “presenting” style, they are not motivated by being in the spotlight and are quite comfortable doing their work on the sidelines.
If you are a mediator: You are likely to avoid confrontation. Your soft, tactful style reflects good emotional intelligence. You also need to realize that there are times when you must confront people and deliver information others don’t want to hear, but need to hear. Don’t let fear of disapproval hold you back. Make it clear where you stand, and what “goes” and doesn’t “go”. Approval not required!
If you are talking to a mediator: Approach a mediator softly and gently. They are sensitive and resent those who are overbearing, pushy, or demanding. If you want something…just ask politely. Also, don’t expect quick decisions. A mediator is people- oriented rather than task-oriented, and they need more time to reflect. Don’t rush them. (“Directors”…take heed)
If you are of the mediating style, you may have a tendency to say something is OK when it is not. Speak up! Let the real you come through.
