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A “must do” for good relationship management
I received a call at 3:00am the day before Mother’s Day: It was my sister, and she informed me that Mom had passed away peacefully just a few minutes before. The news was not unexpected. She was 90, and suffering from lymphoma.
The next day I was approached by a fellow usher at our church service. Her name was Eileen, and she wanted to express her sympathy for my Mom’s passing. I said thank you, and considered that to be the end of the conversation. It wasn’t. With intense interest and her eyes sparkling, she asked me, “What was she like?”
Not wanting to be a bore, I gave a short answer. I said she was a person of deep faith with a positive attitude about life and people. That wasn’t good enough for Eileen. Keeping her eyes directly on me, she gently said, “Tell me more”. Hmm, I thought…she wants to go deeper. I began to elaborate and illustrate specific things my mother did and said, Eileen kept encouraging me. Now I was really rolling. She was still listening, and would not let herself be distracted. It was a wonderful experience to be listened to at such a moment in my life, and I will never forget it. Eileen is officially in the Hall of Fame in my book.
After my conversation with Eileen ended, I reflected on the beauty of what she did. How often do we experience people listening like that? It doesn’t happen that often, does it? What if it did? What impact would it have on relationships, parenting, and those in key leadership positions? I know, nice thoughts, but get realistic, Steve. Here is what I took from it: If I take the time to genuinely and sincerely show more interest in my interactions with others, I will gain more friends and earn more respect. I will end with the words from Dale Carnegie’s famous book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”
“To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. Think of this the next time you start a conversation”