Let’s talk about charisma. Most of us like people who are charismatic. But what does that mean?
I decided to list 10 people I have known who I believe possess charisma. I didn’t stop until I had ten. It would have been easy if I could have included entertainers and famous personalities. Instead, I confined my list to those I have known personally, and it took me much longer than I thought.
As I looked at my list, I sought to find a common trait among this rare bunch, I found it. They were all genuinely interested in me and were always asking neat questions that got them in my realm. They listen, just listen, with no judgment. To boil it down, they pay attention. Dr. Barbara DeAngelis, author of the book “Real Moments”, noted that the most important people in her life were the ones who paid attention. So there you have my definition of charisma…paying attention.
Johnny Carson provided us with daily late-night entertainment for nearly three decades. His zingy quips and infectious humor were often just the medicine we needed to end a tough day. Did he have charisma? No. Notwhen he was off the stage. He was extremely introverted and had a difficult time relating to others one-on-one. That is anything but charisma.
So what do we do…go out there and try to get everyone interested in our world? No, quite the contrary. I am suggesting that we make every effort to show genuine interest in our next conversation. Ask the person about their family, where they grew up, their hobbies, or their travels. People love to talk about themselves and deeply appreciate anyone who is genuinely interested in them. Ask questions, show interest, listen, and you will build trust, respect, and gain more friends.
