A couple weeks ago a client requested that I write a blog on “tone of voice”. I liked the idea. How many relationships or business deals suffer because of our tone of voice? Our tone can convey joy, frustration, impatience, condescension, and sometimes hostility. With all that said, how do we maintain better control over the tenor of what we say? It may start with the quality of our thinking. Here’s an example:
Last summer I went to start our tractor mower, and discovered the lightshad be left on and the battery was dead. I immediately realized what happened. My wife was the last one to mow the lawn, and when she turned the mower off, she left the lights on. I decided to stop and tell Joyce what had happened. When I told her I would tell she was a little hurt. I quickly figured out that she resented my tone. She thought I sounded condescending. She was right. That’s because as I spoke I was thinking it was a pretty dumb thing to do. That is what I was thinking, and my attitude leaked into my tone of voice. It almost always does for all of us, and when this happens, it affects how our message comes across.
As I thought about what I had just said and how I said it, I took a step back and did some reflecting. I realized that I had not properly instructed Joyce on how to turn off the mower. I apologized and got myself back on track.
In his book, “The Magic of Thinking Big”, David J. Schwartz talks about “Thinking right about people”. When we are thinkng right about others, we can improve our tone, and also our communication effectivenes.
