In my post on September 13th, I talked about how we can prevent gossip by speaking up and confronting situations directly. But wait a minute…What if we try to speak up and it ends up in a vicious argument? We don’t want that.
To create and facilitate a quality conversation that solves problems, builds trust and prevents resentment, here are some points to keep in mind:
What is your trust level with this person? If we don’t like or respect them, we can bet our attitude about them will leak. (Attitudes almost always do)
Begin in a friendly way. Assuming we do have adequate trust established, we should begin in a friendly manner. In other words, don’t start out saying, “I have a bone to pick with you!”
Relate the fact. Without judgment, relate the fact of what the other person did or didn’t do. Then gently describe the effects this action had on you and your ability to do your job.
Ask them for a solution. Instead of dictating, give the other person a chance to take ownership. Ask them for ideas. Listen, ask questions, and respond.
Come to a consensus. Decide on solution and make sure you both agree.
Reassure. Give reassurance that you are good with the solution and the problem is solved. Agree to put the situation behind you, and move forward!
No matter how hard we try, we are going to do things that create a burden for someone else. When we do, imagine how much smoother things will go if we approach in the way outlined above.
