Just about every boss I know is always looking for ways to be stronger leader. This means being a better listener.
One of the quickest ways to thwart the listening process is to be a “story topper”. We all have lives filled with experiences and events that we love to share and often carry a message or lesson. A “story topper” is one who pretends to listen to our story but is really just thinking of a story they could tell that could top ours. You can usually tell a story-topper by the phrases they use like, “Oh, that’s nothing…listen to this”. I know a couple of people who are story toppers and I usually don’t share much with them. I find it to be frustrating and a waste of time.
We don’t want to be perceived as a story topper. We won’t be if we subordinate our desire to share a story in favor of listening to theirs. We can show that we are listening by asking questions along the way for clarification, and using phrases like, “Tell me more” or “And then what happened?”. At this point you might be thinking, “But wait a minute…What if I have a good story that I think will add to our discussion?” Fine. Tell it. We just need to be sure that we are listening to the other person’s story first with both ears.
