Most of my time is spent building top-producing teams. One of the most fun parts of my job is when I get to work with a fresh new crew eager to excel. Last week I was with such a group:
It was a team meeting, and two of the members were discussing how they can better communicate with one another. Based on their positions, much communication and coordination was needed between them. As they talked they came to a sticking point. One person was upset and felt she had been left out of the loop. The other person tried to explain himself, and soon you could feel friction in the air. We all know what happens when this occurs: Each person stops listening and thinks about the way they will respond to defend their position. Fortunately, the two people recognized the danger, and brought the conversation back to a safe place: One person said, “Jill, I am not trying to make you feel bad or neglected. My goal is to seek your help. I am having a challenge, and I believe if we can talk through it, we can create a plan that makes our jobs easier for both of us.”
From this point, then went on to solve the problem, and created a “win-win” solution. This action buried any possible frustration or resentment, and the two team members were back on track working side by side.
Look what happened here: These two new employees had a conflict and they resolved it right away. They did not allow time for the problem to fester. That is smart. Unfortunately, not all teams are this adept. Comments are made and things are said. People react or shut down. Frustration and resentment sets in. Ten years later, people still remember and rehash how they were hurt, and team performance suffers forever. In the meantime, they have robbed themselves of the chance to have a positive, fully-engaged and productive team.
