The payoff of “keeping our cool”

Posted: January 23, 2017 | Categories: Self-Improvement

“If you can keep your head about you when all are losing theirs…” – Rudyard Kipling

It is so easy to react quickly when we are wronged or offended.

Many years ago, I remember reading a story in “Bits and Pieces’ about Robert Johnson, founder of Ebony Magazine.  It took place in the mid-50’s, and Mr. Johnson wanted to start his publication.  He needed financing, and the first bank he went to turned him down.  As politely as he could say it, the loan officer informed Mr. Johnson that they did not loan money to people of color.  Instead of becoming defensive, Mr. Johnson came back with a question:  “Can you recommend me to a bank that would loan to me?”  The loan officer game him the name of a bank, Mr. Johnson met with them, and that was the start of Mr. Johnson’s publishing empire.

When Mr. Johnson was rejected because of his color, I think most of us would say that he had every right to react and tell the loan officer a thing or two.  He didn’t.  He kept his cool.  It paid off.

Would you like another example?  A few months ago, a client of mine was approached by her boss with a complaint from a fellow team member.  As it turns out, this fellow team member did not like my client, and was doing anything he could to discredit her.  When approached by her boss, my client could have been indignant and defensive.  Instead, like Mr. Johnson, she remained in control, and asked the question, “What specifically would you like me to do?”  That question took the fuzziness out of the conversation, they were able to talk specifics, and the problem was solved.

There is a lesson learned in these examples:  We should distrust our first reaction, and give ourselves time to respond rather than react.  If we do, we will reduce frustration and create more opportunity.

 

---