“Change of heart can’t be imposed…It can only be chosen”
–Dr. William Miller
Have you ever found yourself giving the same lecture over and over to your kids, relatives, or people who report to you? We can preach, threaten, or even penalize, but what can we do to inspire a change of heart?
A few months ago I called my stove repairman to fix a minor problem. I reached his voicemail, and in the message he mentioned that they would not enter my house unless I was wearing a mask. What nerve, I thought! He is telling me what to do in my own house. I abruptly deleted the contact from my file.
Fast forward to last month: I needed my carpets to be cleaned for the holidays, and I set up an appointment. The personnel were friendly, responsive, and right on time. The enthusiastic service tech came to the front door, and when I greeted him, I was wearing a mask in my own house! Why? Because I had a choice, and I chose to wear it. I thought about the service tech and wondered if he had a family. What if his wife was pregnant? I found myself empathizing rather than just thinking about my position. The tech did a fine job, and even threw in an extra room for free. Now that’s a win-win.
This experience reminded me of an important quality that loved and respected leaders have: The ability to listen, ask questions, and let others choose whenever possible. Even though there are times we must follow other’s directives without much choice, when we can offer someone a choice and let it be their decision, we can inspire that change of heart.
